Warhammer Bitesized
by ODST 262
Summary: Its a normal day for me; School's good and my mini war-gaming is even better. I was looking forward to my week alone but then characters from the 40k universe start appearing in my house. The strangest part, they're all the size of tabletop models.
1. Chapter 1

**Yeah I know this isn't an original idea but I decided to try it, whats the worst that could happen right?**

** Oh yeah and a quick note at first I'm only going to the armies I'm familier with so Orks, Space Marines, Imperial Guard, Tyranids and Eldar.  
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><p><em>"Sir we have dropped out of the warp and have appeared in a world that resembles Terra in the twenty first century."<em>

_"Farseer the webway has deposited us in an unknown location."_

I waved to my best mate and pushed my key into the door. I still couldn't believe that I had won twenty four consecutive wins in warhammer 40k. I twisted the key in the lock and an all mighty crash came from within my house. I ran across the road and looked up- there coming from my window was a column of smoke.

I couldn't believe it my parents had been away barely a day and there had already been a fire. They were going to kill me.

I pushed open the door and another crash was heard. I bolted as fast as I could up the two flights of stairs to my attic-room. I opened the door there wasn't a fire but it wasn't necessarily any better.

My room had been converted into a war zone, two main boundaries had arisen, the grey, black and blocky appearance of a ship that had crashed by more door. The ship had tanks and various types of infantry arranged around it. The words -ighteous fury were visible.

The other boundary was smooth and alien like in appearance. There was a beautiful music coming from this side and the structures were rising from the floor.

In the centre the two forces had met there were sounds of screams, battle cries and weapons being dis-charged.

Then from the ship I heard voices.

"My lord the Eldar are assaulting from the north,"

"Your forces will have to hold them off Lord-General, my battle brothers are engaged trying to contain the green skins and the Tyranids to the west."

Then it hit me, they were all forces from the Warhammer 40k universe. The same Universe that I had been playing with since this-morning. They were all here- well all the big hitters anyway- Orks, Tyrranids, Eldar, Imperial guard and my custom Space marine chapter- the Sentinels. The strangest thing was they were all miniature sized.

I dropped my Model Case and hundreds of little eyes stared at me. All the combat seemed to stop- Eldar mid killing blow, Tyranids and Orks mid slash and Guardsmen mid charge. Even Space Marine bolter rounds had stopped in flight.

The most surprising thing of all then happened- the Space Marines all turned and dropped to one knee and a cry arose from their ranks.

"By the Emperor- Chapter Lord William, All hail the Chapter Lord!"

Then from the wreckage of the **R**ighteous Fury a squeaky voice came up. I bent down and picked up the Chapter Master. For someone who could have their spine snapped from me having a twitch he was remarkably calm. Well they were fearless.

"Chapter Lord, with your permission we will purge the Xenos in your and the Emperor's righteous name."

"No,No,No, there will be no 'purging' in my 'righteous' name."

My parents were only going to be away for a week, my brother and sisters were staying at my Nan's. I was only allowed in the house to look after the Dog. I looked at the bed expecting to see Cindy, all I saw was the Space Marines, the Tyrranids- which had been rounded up and caged in a sort of energy field. Finally I saw the Or-. Where were the Orks? They had disappeared.

"Mon-keigh the 'Orks' left here about one of your minutes ago."

I was about to say something, but then I realised it had been 'said' directly into my head. The Farseer was looking directly at me so I just nodded my head.

'WAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHH!'

I looked down the stairs and then into my room.

"Wait here and no fighting," I pointed to the Chapter Master, "Or you will feel my righteous wrath. Eldar if you think of fighting- well I don't know what I'll do but you won't like it."

"Is that a threat, Mon-keigh?"

"Yes."

I ran down the stairs and in the living room, my dog- Cindy was surrounded by a green tide. Judging from the whines of Cindy the shots stung and badly. Then an Ork that was bigger than the others stepped forward- The Warboss.

'WAAAAAAA-' He was cut short in his war cry when Cindy's paw came down on his head. All the Orks stopped dead in their tracks and stared at the Dog.

"Bigg thing stomped da boss,"

"Ooh da boss naw?"

"Da bigg thing is war boss,"

"Oi umie, wat da bigg thing called?"

"Uh Cindy,"

"Warboss Cindy? Na dat not orky, we call it, Warboss Loads Dakka, Da Stompa."

Okay so miniature sized armies, Check.

Warboss dog, Check.

It's gonna be a long week.

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><p><strong>If you've read this far I'm grateful and the next chapter won't be long.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok here's the next chapter.**

**Russian 117: Thanks man but seriously this isn't my own idea look for Fics called Minihammer, etc.**

**Doorcf: Thanks, I think? I'm touched if your trying to write English but you can write in Espagnol if you want, I can get it translated.**

**Colnel-Mustard 1990: I've already said thanks in the PM and the Eldar names will be used, not in this chapter but the next.**

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><p>I hadn't even been in the kitchen yet and I was dreading it. I left Warboss Loads Dakka Da Stompa in the living room and made my way to the kitchen, I hadn't even stepped through the door yet but I could already hear the sounds of battle.<p>

In the kitchen there were Tau and Dark Eldar fighting. The fighting was almost beautiful to watch the Dark Eldar moving quickly and dodging around the Kroot. The Tau were firing their wonderfully blue rail guns into the Dark Eldar.

I realised that if I wanted peace, I would have to stop the fighting for good. The Dark Eldar I didn't know how to stop but the Tau they were easy.

"Stop this right now, it's for the greater good!" I shouted.

Immediately the Tau stopped firing and the Dark Eldar stood in shock. The Dark Eldar turned around and ran at me.

Now I don't get scared easily, I watched the Alien films without so much as a gasp, but when about two hundred figures adorned with spike and firing very advanced weapons are coming at you. Well you can't blame me for letting out a yelp.

One shot connected with my chest but I could barely feel it through my jumper. Another connected with my head and it stung like hell. The Dark Eldar were close now, so I raised my foot and slammed it on their ranks. There were cries from underneath my foot but the attacks just kept coming.

As I was just a humble nerd I couldn't hold them back for long. Before I knew it I was on the floor and incredibly strong cables were being used to hold me down. A Dark Eldar was standing on my nose looking down at me.

"And now you will die,"

A strange weapon was placed on my eye and raised. Even though I was staring death in the face, I refused to close my eye. Then just as I was about to die I heard war cries.

"For the Emperor,"

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGHH."

Orks and Space Marines ran as one at the Dark Eldar lines. The two forces clashed with the sounds of whirling chain-swords and weapon fire. The Tau had finally figured out what to do and fired at the Eldar's corrupted brethren. The battle sounded great I think I even heard Loads Dakka/Cindy getting involved. Then as loud as the fight was the world went silent. I heard a voice through the silence.

"Mon-keigh, listen to me, you have to stay perfectly still," The Farseer said.

"You do realise I have a name right?"

Then the world was un-muted and an incredibly high pitched screeching pierced the air. At least three dozen Howling Banshees ran screaming into the Dark Eldar lines.

Then another pair of tiny feet were on my face. I saw the form of the Farseer. She ran singing spear first at the my captor. She knocked the weapon out of the Dark Eldar's hand. The Dark Eldar then merely dodged the other attacks and pulled out another blade of her own. The Farseer raised her spear in a defensive stance and started to parry the Dark Eldar's blade. Then the Farseer saw her opening and thrust forward stabbing her opponent squarely in the chest. The Dark Eldar stopped in her tracks. She dropped her blade and slumped down on my lip.

"I'm sorry that it came to this, Sister," The Farseer said darkly.

After she said this she keeled over. I heard shouts of dismay in the Eldar's rank.

"Go care for your Farseer, we will deal with these whelps," A Space Marine Captain said.

Two Warp Spiders appeared on my face and grabbed the Farseer's form.

"Use whatever you need and what ever room you need," I said.

"Thank you Mon-Keigh we are in your debt," One Warp Spider Said.

Then I heard the other gasp.

"Mon-Keigh, the blade is at your lip. It's poisons are running through you as we speak, we must get you loose and to one of our healers otherwise you will be dead by the turn of the hour,"

"No get the Farseer done first I'll be fine for a while,"

It was a group effort but eventually I was cut out of my bonds. I can gladly say that for the first time all the main races were working together in one common goal. After I had been cut loose I ran to the sink and started to bark orders.

"Tau, fetch me the salt, Assault Marines get me a cup,"

After my items had been fetched I put water in the cup and added the salt. I put the rim to my lip and took a deep breath.

Okay James Bond don't fail me now.

I downed the vile drink in one gulp and then threw up my guts. After I had stopped shaking I decided to get the leaders of the armies together-minus the Eldar of course- and sort out a truce of sorts.

All together there was the Space Marine Chapter Master, A Dreadnought, The Lord-General, A Commissar and The Shas'O Commander.

"Okay, names,"I said.

"I am Chapter Master Marcus Reeds," The Space Marine said, he gestured to the Dreadnought," This is Grand Master Davion Arghun,"

"I am Lord-General Julius Caesar, this is my aid Commissar Dmitri Petrenko," The Lord-General said.

"In your tongue I would be called Firestorm," The Shas'O Commander stated quickly.

"Okay, just in case you didn't know I'm William, this is my house and I will have peace. Am I understood?"

"But it-" Julius started.

"Am I understood?"

"Yes,"

I was going to milk this for as long as I could.

"Yes, What?"

"Yes sir,"

"William is right we are all running low on supplies and we shouldn't waste what resources we have left fighting pointless battles," The Russian accented Commissar said.

"Yes the human is right, we should conserve our resources," Firestorm agreed.

"Thank you, Space Marines you have a replicator in your ship, correct?" Dmitri said.

"Yes but it is to damaged to be used effectively," Marcus stated.

"But it can be used,"

"Sort of,"

"This is our offering of peace, the Imperial forces will stand down and use the replicator to produce food and other essentials as long as the other Forces agree to stand down and repair the replicator," This was said by the now less than silent Dreadnought, Davion Arghun.

"I can agree to that," Julius said.

"The Tau Forces agree as it is for the greater good,"Firestorm said.

"Thanks for agreeing to something," I said, "I've got a map of the house, so the Orks will have the basement, The Tau will have the kitchen, The Eldar can have the upstairs bathroom, the Imperial guard will take control of the living room and the Space Marines will stay in my room."

After I said this I coughed twice and my hand was covered in blood. My vision was going black. I fell backwards and I faintly heard the sounds of 'get the Eldar' before I lost consciousness.

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><p><strong>Cliffhanger- this will be my update rate, one a week give or take<strong>**.**


	3. Chapter 3

**New chapter a bit shorter than the others but it should tide you over for a while**

**VoltRush: Thats actually a very good idea maybe I can use it in a later chapter.**

**Fortune Zyne: Yes there will be more Dark Eldar just not** **necessarily as an army as you will see as you read on. Also chances are I won't use special character 'cause I'm reletively new to the Warhammer univerese started on Christmas actually.**

**Doorcf: Blow up the house? I neither confirm nor deny.**

**Notenufdakka: Only The Emperor knows, because shock horror I make up the story as I go along well I plan one chapte ahead anyway.**

** Colonel-Mustard1990: I can't believe I missed that when I read over it and the Eldar names are used in this chapter.**

**Just so you know:**

** "= normal speech**

** '= Head speech/ conversing within my head.  
><strong>

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><p>I woke up and two very attractive girls were checking over me.<p>

"I must have died and gone to heaven to be looked after women as attractive as you," I said smiling.

The two girls recoiled in disgust and then I realised they had pointy ears.

"MON-KEIGH!" They both screeched.

"Oh God I'm in Hell," I groaned.

They both disappeared in a poof of smoke. Thinking about it weren't the Eldar about a fiftieth of my size. I looked around and the room was perfectly white- I didn't even have a white room in my house. The only piece of furniture was the bed I was in there wasn't even a door. Where was I?

Then I heard tapping and a Dark Eldar came into view and ran towards my crippled form. Then just before she reached my bed she exploded in a blue light. Behind her was standing the Farseer with smoking shuriken pistol in hand. She reached up and unclasped the mask from her face and set it down on the floor. She was gorgeous. Her blue eyes were piercing but alluring. Her light brown hair was smooth and when she unclipped it, it rested just on her shoulders.

"Why, thank you Mon-keigh,"

Dammit she can read my thoughts, can't she?

"Yes I can,"

"Stop doing that,"

"Nope,"

"Fine," I sighed, "Where actually are we?,"

"Well Mon-keigh you nearly died, we managed to remove the poison from your body, but the blade blighted your soul. We have been removing the remaining daemons from within you,"

"Yes but where are we?"

"We are in your soul Mon-keigh, it is strange however that you show awareness, the only non-Eldar we have known to do this is your Grey Knights and they are trained in the art of fighting chaos,"

"Is that some respect in your voice?"

"No Mon-keigh it just an incredible feat, for a primitive anyway,"

Then as she finished another Dark Eldar walked in but this one was different, she was unarmed. The Farseer raised her weapon but then the Dark Eldar spoke.

"Now now sister you wouldn't kill me again would you?"

"Don't tempt me,"

"There's no point anyway the blade that infected him was bound to my soul, you didn't remove the pieces in time. I'm part of him now,"

"What! There's a Dark Eldar stuck in my head," I butted in.

"No darling not in your head, inside of you completely and your inside of me, now that's an enticing thought," She said sizing me- well one part of me- up, "Think of it as an adventure,"

The way she said adventure chilled me to my core, I doubt that her adventure involved moving from one particular place.

"You've got that right," She said.

"Your a psyker?" This was the Farseer now.

"No dear sister, I'm part of him remember,"

It's just my luck that I don't get stuck with the torturers no I get stuck with one from the pleasure cults.

"But is it good or bad luck. Hmm,"

"Fine if I'm sharing my head with you can I at least know your name?"

"I don't see the problem with that, you're going to need something to cry out anyway. I'm called Yarsa,"

I shuddered at this.

"And you, Farseer?"

"I am Farseer Karha, Mon-Keigh,"

"I have a name,"

"Yes sister, it's William or just Will to his friends,"

"This is going to get annoying really quickly,"

Then without warning I came around on the bathroom floor- Eldar crowding around me.

"Thank you Karha you've saved my life twice now,"

Silence.

"Don't act like that, I know you can hear me,"

Silence.

"Karha, Karha? Ok now I'm worried,"

I had a good look at the Eldar around me. There was something off about them. Their armour was adorned with spikes. Dark Eldar.

I heard clapping in my head- Yarsa.

'I thought you never would have figured it out,'

'I don't have time for this,'

'Now, Will, I can call you will right? As much as I like my people I come first, word of warning, the next five minutes are going to be very uncomfortable for you.'

'What!'

My mouth opened and strange words started to pour out, the Dark Eldar started to vibrate and then they disappeared in a blue blast. I collapsed again.

"Now, now we're going to have to work on your endurance, if you keep passing out when I take control. It'll have two ways of helping; one, I can actually take control for longer than a couple of seconds and two, you won't disappoint that special someone. Now go on I believe there's some Orks coming our way."

I woke up and my entire body was aching and a green horde was surrounding me.

"Oi umie where you been? Those clicky gits got loose up top and running round everywhere, it all went to 'ell. 'Specially when the pointy gits got loose down 'ere. Worst o' all the posh gits gone missing"

Ok so the Tyranids have got loose so have the Dark Eldar and the normal Eldar have disappeared if I didn't know any better the Chaos Gods were involved.

"Ok round up the boys we going on a WAAAGGHH," I said sounding as Orky as possible.

The Orks around me suddenly perked up.

"WAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH"

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><p><strong>Kudos to anyone who found the Kelly Chamber refrence from Mass Effect 2. If you did leave it in a review the first to do this gets a prize. <strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey I'm back, and sorry for the mess up last chapter but I've enabled Anon reviews just in case I cock up again**

**Colonel-Mustard1990: yeah my bad but I hope I haven't lost your regular review.  
><strong>

**Elliej939: Is it not that obvious, and I promise I'll review your stories, eventually.**

**doorcf: Yeah they do and I bestow upon you the rank of regular reviewer, Hazzah.**

**Fortune Zyne: Oh yeah they do, and assure you they will be back *Evil laugh***

**.: Like I said I'll send the links to the stuff you really need to know.**

**This is also sort of an apology chapter as its bigger and it also contains a fight scene- sort of.**

**Well without further a do the next chapter;**

**Yarsa: Enjoy.**

**Me: Seriously I cant even write without you interupting me?**

**Yarsa: Yup.**

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><p>"Okay boys first we gonna get da Warboss back," I shouted.<p>

'Wow your starting to sound like them'

'Shut up Yarsa I don't have time for our banter'

'We're bantering right now'

"Oi umie why we listen to you?" a Nob called out.

" 'cause otherwise I stomp ya,"

"Nah you wont-"

He was cut short when I lifted my foot and punted him- but not of my own accord.

'Hm, Orks are surprisingly aerodynamic'

'Yarsa, I'm trying to resolve this peacefully'

'They only understand violence'

"Okay boys, who's seen the Warboss?"

"Dunno umie but we send some Kommandos cause they is the sneakiest,"

I walked to the bathroom door and pulled it open, I was met by a huge swarm of various different Tyranids. I slammed the door shut. I turned around expecting to see the Orks but they were all scampering into the gaps in the walls that they must have made.

Okay Tyranids, I can do this, they're just oversized bugs- oversized bugs that eat everything, can kill Space Marines and have freaking guns. I can't do this they'll tear me apa-.

I felt something that is the equivalent to a psychic slap across the face.

'Pull your self together, stupid Mon-keigh,'

'Yarsa? I thought we were on first name bases,'

'Oh we are, that wasn't me, that was my beloved sister'

'That's right Mon-keigh and as much as I don't want to admit it, your going to have to let Yarsa take control again, and this time fully,'

'What! I can barely handle her taking control of one small bit of my body-'

'Trust me sister, there's very few small parts of his body,'

'Seriously Yarsa, not now, anyway like I was saying, I can barely handle her taking control of one small part of my body'-giggling-'without collapsing,'

'Yes, but that was because it was unwilling, you have to let her take control,'

'Okay I just need to relax and let a Dark Eldar Archon take over my body,'

'Precisely,'

I shut my eyes and let myself fade into blackness, when I opened them I was in the white area again but it was different. It was more Dark Eldar now, spikes, bodies and various different torture devices. It was strange because I'm sure Yarsa was part of the pleasure cults.

"She is and isn't at the same time,"

"Karha?"

"The one and only,"

I turned around to see Karha standing there in her standard Farseer get up -sans helmet.

"What do you mean is and isn't?"

"Well, William Eldar can split their personalities into different forms you could say, it is difficult to explain it to someone who hasn't experienced it," Then she saw my troubled expression, "What's the matter?"

"Well, your not Karha are you?"

"There I thought I was doing a good job of imitating that posh stuck up little bi-"

"Mon-keigh, get down!"

I was tackled to the floor by the real Karha as a tentacle like appendage shot over my head. The daemon was strange as in I didn't recognise it and one of my mates had drilled the images of all the Chaos Daemons into my head. The daemon looked sort of like a gene-stealer with eight tentacles sticking out of its back. Karha fired het pistol once, twice, three times. Each shot found its mark, severing a tentacle each. The daemon screeched in anger and the severed tentacles split into two and elongated sort of like a hydra.

"A fitting name for the scum, but are you going to name it or help me fight it?"

As Karha said this one tentacle whipped out, wrapped around her and started to squeeze. Another tentacle whipped towards me and I just managed to dodge around it.

"Mon-keigh you need a weapon," Karha said through gritted teeth.

I looked around the soul-scape for a weapon, there on the floor was Karha's pistol. I ran as fast as I could, dodging around the Hydra's attacks. I dived to the floor skidding towards the pistol I grabbed it and rolled onto my back and fired the weapon at the Hydra until I heard a clicking sound. It would have looked completely badass if I hadn't missed every single shot.

"No offence but you suck Mon-keigh," Karha said face going a dark purple, "Get a weapon now, all you have to do is think, it is your head after all."

Okay think William you can do this just need to imagine a weapon in my hand and it'll be there.

Another tentacle flew through the air, I felt something in my hand and swung it around to intercept. -DONG- I looked to see a frying pan in my hand.

"Now will you help me please,"

I ran towards the Hydra deflecting tentacles as I went. I racked my brain for the Hydra legend how did Hercules defeat it again. Fire! I thought of a flame-thrower and felt weight in my hand, I pointed the nozzle towards the Hydra and pulled the trigger. And again. And again.

"It's too complicated you need to understand how it works,"

Okay a heat source, I hefted my pan. I thought as hard as I could, focusing on all the mechanisms. I heard a loud bang and a stove had appeared by the side of me. I put the pan on a hob and lit it to full flame. The Hydra had figured out what I was doing and attacked. I dived away and the tentacle ruptured the fuel tank one huge bang later and the oven had completely disappeared. On the floor was the Pan, now glowing a dark red. I picked it up by the handle and ran towards Karha. I brought the pan down which sliced through the appendage like a knife through butter. Karha flopped to the floor and started coughing and a strange thing was happening to what was left of the tentacle. The heat must as worked as the tentacle shrivelled up and disappeared. I dropped my pan and ran to Karha to check on her. My mistake. The Hydra grabbed me and I was lifted into the air. The tentacle started to squeeze the life out of me, my eyes were bulging and my ears bleeding. I tried to think of something to cut me out but noting was working, my mind was a bit preoccupied.

Karha took the initiative and took her witch blade to the Hydra slashing and slicing, limb after limb hit the floor but it was just making it worse. Eventually the Hydra overpowered her and raised her high into the air. My vision was starting to go black, which was why I thought the next thing that happened was a hallucination. A Howling Banshee, an Avatar of Khaine and three Grey Knights appeared. They immediately started to slice, the banshee and Avatar working as one cutting and cauterising, while the Grey Knights called out one of their famous battle cries:

"We are the hammer, We are the sword in His hand

We are the point of His spear, We are the gauntlet about His fist

We are the bane of His foes and the woes of the treacherous

We are the end."

Apparently the Nemesis Force weapons worked as heated weapons as the tentacles shrivelled at contact.

The Grey Knights confronted the crippled Daemon.

"There will be more, this world will belong to chaos," It spat.

"There may be more coming, scum, but we will stand ready with fury comparable to the Emperor himself," One Grey Knight said before crushing the Hydra beneath it's boot.

The Hydra exploded and we were released. Karha landed gracefully, me, not so much.

I landed on my back looking up at the Grey Knights.

"HOW DID A FOUL DAEMON GET IN HERE, YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE JUST GOING TO SPAR," The Avatar shouted.

"Shush, he'll here you," Karha whispered.

Now it was the Grey Knights' turn to be shocked.

"You said that there was a Daemon, unseen before. And that you needed our help to protect a splinter of your consciousness. You did not say you had orchestrated this, otherwise we wouldn't have helped you Xenos filth,"

"FILTH! I WILL SHOW YOU WHO THE FILTH IS HERE!"

"Huh, I would like to see you try!"

"OI!" I shouted, "This is my head, and I would like to know what the Hell you're all doing here, especially the Daemon,"

The Grey Knights and The Avatar were momentarily shocked before pointing to each other.

"They did it! What? It was them," They both shouted.

"I don't care who's fault it is I want to know why there is a Daemon in my head,"

"I can answer that for you Mon-keigh, we orchestrated the little disaster that happened in the house. We gathered all the leaders together and worked out something to do. I needed to see your psychic strength first hand. The Daemon on the other hand was not my doing however,"Karha said.

"And these?" I pointed to the Avatar and the Banshee.

"They are fragments of my personality, they are part of my paths that I walked long ago."

"And you?" I asked the Grey Knights.

"We were drawn here, as well as the Sisters of Battles. Where there are Heretics and Daemons our forces are soon to follow."

"Okay, would you all kindly leave my head so I can return to the real world."

The Grey Knights bowed and disappeared while the Eldar just did the latter. Now it was just Karha and me left.

"You could have told me I would have come willingly,"

"Really?"

"Yes,"

"Not that I want to ruin this lovely moment, but do you want your body back?"

"Thank you Yarsa,"

"Your welcome,"

I woke up and I was on my bed, the map had been taped above my head. I checked over it. Sentinels, Grey knights and Sisters of Battle- attic room. Eldar- upstairs toilet. Tyranid holding pens- third upstairs room. Tau- Kitchen. Imperial guard- Living room. Snipas, 'cause they is the shootiest- Basement.

I could get used to this.

'Night Yarsa,'

'Night Will,'

'Night Karha,'

'Night Mon-keigh,'

Then I lay back and fell into deep sleep.

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><p><strong>To all you smart people out there, you may see a plot developing.<strong>

**Also the Mass Effect refrence will be posted next chapter, so there's still time to send an answer.**

**Before I forget I will only respond to registered accounts in the reviews unless;**

**A. It's really good  
><strong>

**B. I get a PM from a user saying that it was them.**

**Till next time.**


	5. Chapter 5

**I'm back. Oh yeah if you've reviewed skip over the italics.**

_**Only four reviews I'm dissapointed and don't say you can't review cause anyone can review from now on. I also know people are reading I've had 500 hits on this story in the last**** month.**_

**Okay now reviews:**

**EllieJ939: Once again thanks Ellie and yes I am serious.**  
><strong>Blinded in a bolthole<strong>**: I couldn't help but laugh at the review, and no I haven't heared of it :(  
>Joshabi: A triangle? nah never happen cause anything that happens with Yarsa would never get beyond a fling. But with Karha? It's an idea I've been toying with.<br>bip bip bip beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep: Thanks it's what I was aiming for. It's all because I wanted to do a Warhammer fic but I wanted it to be readable for people who have never played or even heared of it.**

**Okay once more unto the breach.  
><strong>

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><p>I woke up and remembered my crazy dream of having all the armies from Warhammer 40k in my house.<p>

'It wasn't a dream,'

I finally opened my eyes and looked out to my room there was Space Marines doing push-ups, Grey Knights practicing their hand to hand and perhaps the strangest of all Terminators chanting a very familiar song.

"Dovahkiin, Dovahkiin,

Naal ok zin, los vahriin,

Wah dien vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal,

Ahrk fin norok paal graan,

Fod nust hon zindro zaan,

Dovahkiin, fah hin kogaan mu draal."

I racked my brain trying to think of why they would sing that song- I mean it was my chapter after all.

'When you designed them you made them able to speak dragon remember,'

'Thank you Yarsa,'

'No problem,'

I rolled out of bed and I came across the Tech Marines that were cutting the Righteous Fury into plates and putting them into a pile.

"Chapter Lord, we would like to accompany you to collect recon," An Assault Marine called.

"We should accompany you, just in case any of the other armies try anything," A Terminator Shouted.

"Fine," I sighed.

The Assault Marine jumped to my shoulder and the Terminator teleported up to my other. As I was walking down the stairs, the Marines called out their names.

"Assault captain James of the second company."

"Dragon brother Virgil of the first company-Black Dragons."

I came down the stairs and I had to step over a dozen tanks- mainly Leman Russes but some Bane-blades as well.

I found the command squad, Julius and Dmitri were there and there was a new character. She was dressed in a dark green robe and was cradling a staff that was just over her height and had a golden eagle perched on the top.

"Ah Lord William, this is sanctioned Psyker Sara," Dmitri said.

"Nice to meet you Sara,"

"Yes to meet you nice," She mumbled.

I raised an eyebrow and Dmitri shrugged.

"So anyone want some coffee?"

"Yes," Julius said.

"I would like some please," Dmitri said.

"Coffee to I would like,"

I lowered my hand and let them walk to the palm of my hand. I walked out to the kitchen and put the coffee machine on. I opened the cupboard and a tau battle suit handed me a mug. I could definitely get used to this.

I put the mug in the machine and waited for the coffee to pour. The amassed forces disembarked-from my body-onto the worktop. I picked up the mug and lowered it so they could all get some. The Space Marines, the Lord General and the Commissar pulled out some flasks and dipped them in my coffee. Sara looked on trying to figure out something to do. Dmitri decided to speak out.

"Here have mine,"

"Thanks much very,"

I'm sure I saw the grizzled Commissar blush. Oh I definitely saw him blush.

"I'll get you a cup now,"

I went into the cupboard and found an old cup that hadn't been used for years. I placed it on the worktop picked up my Dad's hammer and brought it down on the cup. I looked through the pieces and found a rounded shape. I dipped it into my coffee and passed it to the Commissar.

"You definitely need to make some you sized cups," I said.

I decided to meet the newest arrivals and get them up to speed. I decided to do the Grey Knights first.

'Heh, you did the Grey Knights.'

'Shut up Yarsa.'

So the Grey Knights. I didn't really know much about them apart from they're all Psykers and they kill Daemons.

I walked to their little encampment and asked if I could see their leader. A man who looked extremely like a very specific Mega City One Judge walked out, he even had the helmet that cut off half way down his face.

"I am Justicar Joe Dredd, and we are already up to speed on the current events, we will sign the agreement as long as you do not harbour any vile daemons," Dredd said.

"Well that makes our lives a lot easier," I said before immediately covering my mouth.

"What do you mean, 'our'," he questioned.

'Well there's no point on hiding it now is there,' a disgruntled Yarsa said.

'It was an accident,'

'If I get purged I'll make the rest of your life a living hell,'

'How are you going-'

An immediate burning pain appeared in my groin area.

"Eh I've sort of got a Dark Eldar sharing my body,"

"We can purge that for you if you want,"

The burning pain worsened.

"Nah it's okay, it's sort of grown on me,"

The burning pain subsided.

"If you insist,"

I walked to my now cleaned out cubby hole, and found the sisters of battle had made a small base from spare pieces of plastic and metal.

'Mention a word of me to them and that burning pain will come back.'

'Yes ma'am,'

"Can I speak to the leader of your forces please?"

"I am Canoness Lilith,"

"Nice to meet you Lilith,"

"Likewise,"

"So I need to get you to agree-,"

"Yes the Sentinels have informed us of your current situation, we will accept the form of a truce until we find a way home,"

Okay I've got the armies up to speed and they have a truce of sorts, maybe finally I can get some peace.

"This is an outrage, the green skins cannot be allowed to live," Julius called from the top of my stairs.

"What's going on?"

"Those damn Orks have taken my Baneblades you must bring down your almighty fury upon them,"

'What was that about peace?'

'Shut up Yarsa.'

* * *

><p><strong>Okay and that's that done, next chapter will be ready for Valentines day because surprise surprise it's a Valentine special. It's gonna be going away from this story so if you don't want to read it you can skip over it.<strong>

**Also the Mass Effect refrence: 'Now thats an enticing thought' said to you by Kelly Chambers if you flirt with her. Now because non of you got it I've got a shed load of rippers that I don't know what to do with.**

**Yarsa: I can think of something.**

**Me: Not another one of your weird fetishes.**

**Yarsa: Yup.**

**Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!  
><strong>


	6. Valentine's Day special

**Hey guys happy valentines day and sorry about my rant last chapter I don't know what came over me. This chapter is set between either Chapters 7&8 or 8&9**

**Reviews:**

**Fortune Zyne: Yeah normally they would have but when there's someone who could crush them without thought they may bend a little also the Grey Knights aren't stupid they know that a conflict would end badly for them**

**Joshabi: Actually they took them in the day as if you check there were baneblades there at the start, also I didn't say the Orks took it, the lord General just thinks they took them as they ended up in the ork area. Take that as you wish.**

** Elliej939: Like I said to you Yarsa isn't fictional she's an embodiement of the voices also Regular reviewer status is yours hazah.**

**Anyways onward with the valentine chapter**

* * *

><p>I woke up feeling glum- well you couldn't really blame me- it was Valentine's Day. Which means I'm gonna spend all day sitting by the TV watching crappy romance and chick-flicks while all my mates will be out with their significant other.<p>

'Don't be so glum,'

Oh yeah I couldn't spend my day alone could I especially when I had to get some certain people gifts.

'That's the spirit,'  
>'Thank you Yarsa,'<br>'No problem,'

XXX

"So Lord Will, tell us more of this 'Valentine's Day'," Dmitri asked..  
>"Well Dmitri, it's a day where people spend time and give gifts to people they care about,"<br>"Seems kind of pointless to me,"  
>"Join the club,"<p>

XXX  
>"Hello Lilith, how are you?" Dredd asked.<br>"I am fine thank you,"

Dredd twisted his fingers; he had served with Lilith in countless battles and had won countless victories at her side. This was going to make the next few words harder than ever.

"Today is Valentine's Day," He said..  
>"And?"<br>"Well I was thinking we could conduct a raid on the Orks together,"  
>"Joe, I like a good movie and I heard the guardsmen are showing a lot of them later,"<br>"It's a date, um I mean a get together,"  
>"Don't worry Joe I know what you mean," She said and then kissed him on the cheek.<p>

XXX

'So then Will, what did you get me for Valentine's Day?'  
>'Um well,'<br>'You didn't get me anything?'  
>'Uh, I did just wait, I'm coming in,'<p>

I shut my eyes and forced myself into my soul.

"Well I'm waiting," Yarsa said tapping her foot.

I imagined my Commander Shepard bringing him to reality all the muscles, the complexion but sans clothes-of course-. Yarsa just stood in awe as the figure appeared in front of her in all his naked glory.

"Happy Valentine's Day Yarsa," I said, "You kids have fun,"

A bed appeared behind him and Yarsa tackled him down on to it. I decided to give them some privacy and left the white area.

XXX

Dmitri walked into the command post and took the box from behind his back. He was relieved when he found out that only Sara was in the building. She was dancing around and making various items float.

She was a powerful Psyker indeed.

He looked at his pistol, would he be able to do it. He shook his head he shouldn't worry about things like that; it would give him heart attacks when he had retired.

"Hello Sara,"  
>"To see you nice Dmitri,"<br>"Uh I got you a little something," he said handing her the box..  
>"Me for is it?"<br>"Yes, enjoy,"

She opened the box and took the chocolate out and bit into it.

"Chocolate nice very,"  
>"Uh the Guard are showing movies later and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me,"<br>"I like very much that,"

XXX

I sat down with a coffee trying to block out the moaning resounding in my head. Then suddenly and without warning they stopped.

'Thank God I thought you would have gone on for hours,'  
>'I would have but Shepard just fluffed out,'<p>

I took a sip from my coffee. Then an image of a very naked Yarsa appeared in front of my eyes. It shocked me that I had never seen Yarsa without her helmet on. Her face was a stark contrast to Karha's. Where Karha's hair was light brown, Yarsa's was a black so dark it absorbed the light from around it. Karha's eyes were a light blue; Yarsa's were a dark green. Another difference was the fact that Yarsa was me sized and was sitting on the table in a very suggestive manor. I dropped my cup in disbelief. Yarsa winked before disappearing.

'And that's just the first part,'

XXX

"Hello Farseer, today is Valentine's Day a Mon-Keigh day of courtship,"

Karha looked up and saw Lothis Irrian, the warp spider Exarch.

"I have already told you I am not interested,"  
>"It's that damn Mon-Keigh isn't it,"<br>"No he has nothing to do with it, it's the fact that you want to get involved with me just to advance your position,"  
>"You'll regret this Karha,"<br>"I sincerely doubt it,"

XXX

Okay Eldar, what do Eldar like?

'Being better than everyone else,'  
>'I meant as a gift Yarsa,'<br>'Oh, I don't know, search your heart and you'll find the answer,'  
>'Remind me to never let you watch those damn chick flicks ever again,'<p>

XXX

The Techmarine felt something he hadn't felt for years- Love. She was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen; she had curves in all the right places and was the embodiment of the perfect woman. He lifted her effortlessly up and rested her against his shoulder. Then he looked down her sights and fired off a small burst of bullets to see if his Boltgun was jammed.

XXX

I walked into the toilet and asked the warlocks if I could see the Farseer. She walked out looking mightily pissed off. Then she saw me and her mood softened even if it was for a second.

"I got you a little something," I said and gave her the smallest box I had ever seen.  
>She opened it up and took out the jewel encrusted necklace..<br>"I know it won't replace the soul stones you lost but it should be a good substitute,"  
>"Thank you William, I don't know what to say," She said through tears of joy, "I didn't get you anything though,"<br>"It's okay I'm used to it, but you could come to the big movie night the guardsmen are throwing,"  
>"I'll be there,"<p>

XXX

"This is an outrage, our Farseer falling for Mon-Keigh filth," Lothis screamed at the seer council..  
>"You know full well that the Mon-Keigh has shown us nothing but kindness since we have arrived here,"<br>"But what of her ability to lead,"  
>"Farseer Karha knows how to keep her emotions in check when needed, however we believe that you cannot,"<br>"But-"  
>"Keep your thoughts to yourself Lothis, otherwise we will have to give your Exarch status to someone more capable,"<p>

XXX

'So then Yarsa what's this big gift you have for me?'  
>'Come and see,'<p>

I shut my eyes and entered the soul-scape, there clad in barely anything but her underwear was Yarsa. I looked down; I was wearing only my underwear as well

"Yarsa, where are my clothes?"  
>"You won't need them," She said before she knocked me to the bed and crashed her lips into mine.<p>

When her mouth left mine my muscles felt heavy and I could barely move. Yarsa straddled me and removed the rest of our clothing.

"Just go with it," She whispered seductively into my ear.

**[CONTENT REMOVED DUE TO 'T' RATING]**

I looked down at Yarsa as she drew lines on my chest with her finger. I had regained movement about halfway through our little ordeal. I rubbed her back before placing one arm behind my back. I checked my hand and there were little droplets of blood from where her nails had dug into me.

"That was a lot of fun, but let me get this settled I'm not looking for a relationship, this is one night only," She said..  
>"I know it would be a bit awkward anyway, considering that you only exist inside me,"<br>"Exactly, and don't you have a certain Farseer to pick up for your date,"  
>"It's not a date,"<br>"Just keep telling yourself that,"  
>I got out of the bed and was about to leave when Yarsa spoke.<br>"Oh and Will,"  
>"Yeah?"<br>"Happy Valentine's Day,"

XXX

Karha was looking through her equivalent of a wardrobe for something to wear.

"Armour, Ceremonial robes, Ceremonial armour, robes, armour," She sighed.

"Ah Farseer, cannot find something to wear to impress the Mon-Keigh can you," The Howling Banshee Exarch-Harethiel said  
>"No, I just want something to wear,"<br>"Don't hide things from me when I already know the answer, anyway you can wear this," She said holding up a dress of sorts.  
>"Thank you Harethiel it's perfect,"<p>

XXX

I knocked on the bathroom door feeling more nervous than I ever had before. The Door opened to a very empty room, all the Eldar must have already gone downstairs. Then just as I was about to leave Karha walked out from her hiding place.

My jaw hit the floor when I saw her; she had let her hair down for the first time in a while and was wearing a dark red strapless dress.

"Why thank you,"  
>'Will close your mouth, you'll catch flies,'<br>"Wow it's just, wow,"  
>"Are we going to watch the film or are you just going to stand there gawking?"<br>"Oh yeah film, come on," I said lowering my hand to allow her to walk onto it.

We walked down the stair and I took my seat on the couch, I noticed some familiar faces. Lilith was snuggled up to a very awkward looking Dredd, Dmitri was holding a very pleased looking Sara and a Techmarine was hugging a bolter. I looked down at Karha sitting comfortably on my chest and one thought came to mind.

Best Valentine's Day EVAR.

"Happy Valentine's Day Karha,"  
>"Happy Valentines Will,"<p>

* * *

><p><strong>First things first this does not mean that Karha is in a relationship with me they just went to watch a movie chapter will be up on the regular day and it will continue from where last chapter left off.<strong>  
><strong>Yarsa: I enjoyed one part of the chapter the most but then you removed it.<strong>  
><strong>Me: You heared Ellie she would tell my mother if it wasn't 'T' rated. Also I can't help but notice how many people are reading my story and have favorited it, why not leave a review to tell me what you think.<strong>


	7. Chapter 6

**It's that time of the week again.**

**Reviews:**

**Joshabi: Yeah misplacing it would be bad and regular reviewer startus is yours Hazah**

**EllieJ939: Yeah I did. And like I said they're not midgets they're scaled down if they were our size... well I don't want to think about it.**

**Fortune Zyne: Yeah I've heard that but I'll explain it next chapter because this is the Chapter that is before the Valentines chapter but I didn't fifnish it on time. Also I should have said that the dress was made specially for the 'not a date but is a date.'**

**Invader Jrek: Like I said all explained next chapter.**

**Teromad: It's also a sentance I thought I'd never write but I thought what the hell. Also thanks for the compliment.**

**VoltRush: The first reviewer that didn't mention the Dark Eldar incident Yay. Yeah he would be awkward when all he knows is how to kill thing efficiently and to praise the Emperor.**

* * *

><p>"Come on the green skins are desecrating the mighty Baneblades as we speak,"<p>

"Back up a second the Orks have taken your tanks that were there less than an hour ago?"

"For the Emperor's sake, yes I don't know how they did it but they can be crafty devils,"

I rolled my eyes, just as I got everyone to come to an agreement the Orks had to go and loot something.

"Fine come on then, Virgil, James I may need your help here,"

"As you command," They both said.

I ran down the two flights of stairs to the door leading to the basement. I opened it, took a step inside and slipped over something.

My head was throbbing and my head was spinning. I stood up and was met by a tide of green.

"Right who put the Truk by the door?" I shouted.

"Answer him green skins or meet your fate," James called revving his chainsword while Virgil hefted his heavy flamer for emphasis.

There was murmuring from the crowd and a mek boy was shoved forward.

"Dun stomp me 'umie,"

James lifted his bolt pistol and fired putting a bullet in between the mek's eyes.

"Ok now where's the Baneblades?" I asked.

"Right 'ere 'umie," A nob shouted pointing at the untouched Baneblades,"The other boys wanted to make it orky but I sed no 'cause the big 'umie will stomp ya,"

'Who would have thought, we found an Ork that isn't entirely brain dead,'

'I know, didn't see that one coming did we Yarsa?'

"Uh, well done but who brought them here?"

"Well 'umie they just poofed 'ere like those purple gits do,"

'Purple gits? Any ideas Yarsa?'

'Well due to my extensive study of Orks and they're ability to name things after the colours that are worn, add the fact that they 'poof' and I would believe that they are talking about the forces of Chaos,'

'You could have just said Chaos,'

'And miss the chance to prove that I'm smarter than you,'

"Well I'm gonna have to take the tanks back, because of your helpfulness and the fact that the population will grow if I don't do this, I'll let you into the Tyranid holding pens to have a fight,"

" 'ear that boys we gonna 'ave a WAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHH wiv the clickys,"

"I need the tanks back though,"

"Fine we just lookin forward to da WAAAAAAAAAGGHHHHHH!"

I scooped up the Baneblades and ran for it. At the top of the stairs I found the full Imperial Guard force mobilised for war.

"I want to see the Lord General now,"

"Yes,"

"I have your Baneblades stand down,"

"I don't care the Orks took it so they must pay the price,"

This guy was starting to really annoy me.

"The Orks out number you at least six to one, and last time I checked you have trouble when you out number them,"

"I do not care, if we fall we do it in the Emperors name,"

Ok I'm really starting to loose my cool.

"We will charge them and die yes, but it will be the most honourable of deaths,"

'Yarsa whatever happens next, don't try to stop me,'

'What are you planning to do?'

'New place I am in,'

'Hello Sara, can you tell Dmitri not to interrupt me when I go mental in a minute?'

'Uh that do I will,'

"I am sick and tired of your attitude, General, all the other forces have put aside they're differences to achieve peace while all you have done is try to find a way to start another fight,"

"I-"

"Shut up, I'm not finished. I would think that your brilliant plan would involve you sitting in the back watching it happen and if it got hairy you would run away leaving your men to die,"

"I have-"

"Don't interrupt me, your bloodlust is worse than the Orks if anything I would say that you're-" Then it hit me, "-A follower of Khorne,"

"Death to the corpse God, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" Julius screamed.

"HERESY!" *BLAM*

I turned to see Dmitri standing with smoking pistol in hand.

"Sorry force of habit," he shrugged.

The Guardsmen looked at Dmitri then Julius then Dmitri again, before letting out a cheer.

"Looks like your a hero mate," I said to Dmitri.

'What about you Yarsa, you seem to be awfully quiet,'

'I just didn't know you had it in you,'

'Mon-Keigh you have to come quick,'

'What? Slow down what's going on?'

'Just come quick,'

I ran as fast as I could to the Eldar area, it had been ransacked. The once beautiful wraith bone buildings were in flames and bodies littered the floor.

'We can rebuild but they took something irreplaceable,'

'Karha, what did they take,'

'They took our infinity circuit and soul stones,'

'I'm so sorry,'

'I don't need your false pity, I need your fury,'

'Who took them?'

'Chaos Daemons,'

'The Hydra must have relayed our position back,'

'I am going to train you to fight them and when the time comes you will rain pure fury on them,'

'Firstly the basics, you need to be able to enter the soul scape, just focus and close your eyes,'

I breathed, focusing on the white room. I closed my eyes and opened them to find my self in my soul scape, standing in the centre was Karha, Yarsa and a Warp Spider.

"Who's that?"

"This is Lothis Irrian Warp Spider Exarch and your sparring partner,"

"Sparring? I thought we were just doing the basics,"

"The best way to learn is through experience, Lothis go on,"

I was immediately set upon by the Exarch, I barely had enough time to block his first blow and by the time I had he was already exposing my weaknesses and exploiting them. I was hit from the front, back and sides, quickly and efficiently. I was forced down onto one knee, then the other. I was then down on my hands and knees. A kick connected with my ribs and I was on my back, Lothis was on top punching again and again.

"Stop it your killing him!" Yarsa screamed.

"The Daemons will show him no mercy, why should I?"

A quick and brutal punch connected with his chin and sent him reeling, Yarsa kicked him down and drew her blade, resting it on his throat.

"You will not harm him," Yarsa said seething with anger.

I was helped to my feet by Karha I turned to Lothis.

"Again," I said.

He stood up and charged me again, I blocked the first blow, dodged the second but then a palm connected to my forehead and sent me straight to the floor.

I pulled myself up.

"Again."

I dodged the first strike, blocked the second ducked under the third and jabbed him in the gut. He recovered quickly and smacked me in the back of the head throwing me straight into his knee.

I had to think this through, he was faster and stronger than me. The one advantage I had over him was my bulk. Sure in Human terms I was very skinny but to an Eldar...

"Again."

"You must have a death wish, Mon-Keigh,"

I ducked under his fist and tackled him to the ground and held my fist above his face.

Clap. Clap. Clap.

I turned to see Karha and Yarsa clapping. They helped me up and I turned quickly to look at Lothis and a gaze of searing rage met mine.

Once I had finally found my feet a blow connected with my back and I fell flat on my face. I pushed myself up and heard a blade being drawn.

"Tell me why I shouldn't kill you right now!"

"Yarsa, I'll handle this, Lothis control yourself, the training is over,"

"I will not allow myself to be bested by a Mon-Keigh,"

"You beat him three of four times, it's barely bested,"

"Only because you say so, Farseer,"

Then he disappeared. A hand helped me up.

"Sorry about Lothis he's very hotheaded,"

"I'm okay, I get the feeling that he doesn't like me,"

"He just doesn't like competition," She said quickly before disappearing.

"What does she mean by that?" I asked Yarsa.

"For someone who is apparently top of their class you can be incredibly thick on times,"

"Thank you Yarsa,"

"Aim to please,"

I re-entered the real world and the Eldar had already started to rebuild and had cleared the bodies away. I looked at my watch and it was Half eleven at night. I noticed this and my body decided to give out on me.

I trudged up to my bed and collapsed forward onto it and fell to an exercise induced sleep.

* * *

><p><strong>So everything explained like the missing soul stones and Lothis' hate for me. Lets try and break the 30 review mark with this chapter shall we.<strong>


	8. Chapter 7

**Here I am, sorry about the delay but with illnesses and Warhammer 40k's birthday I was a bit preocupied.**

**Reviews;**

**Teromad: Thanks for the compliment, this is my first try with humor- ever onsite and off. Plus yeah it's gonna sting but it won't escalate into a war for a while- tghe Eldar like to keep to themselves.**

** Russian-117: I haven't seen you for a while, glad you enjoyed the chapter- I enjoyed writing that bit the best.**

**A Drunk Candian: I couldn't help but think that your name said A Drunk Cadian. Also KILL, MAIM, BURN.**

**Touch off the noodles: Sorry I didn't put in the full stops 'cause otherwise it deletes your name, anyways I'm glad it made your day I enjoyed writing the chapter.**

**Now on with the story and it should be in the right order now, cause this is the one from before the Valentines special.**

* * *

><p>I grudgingly opened my eyes- my body was aching and had scars, but I couldn't help but smile- I had got Karha to watch a movie with me, slept with a Dark Eldar and lived to tell the tale!<p>

'Don't sound so smug- I went easy on you,'

'Did you now,'

'Yes, I showed a lot of restraint- you would have enjoyed it more but then you would have died,'

'And this stopped you because?'

'Normally it wouldn't but because we share a soul... Well to put it simply; if you die,I die and if I die you die,'

'Fair enough,'

I knew there was something that I needed to do today but I couldn't remember what.

'You said you were going to see all the armies- not just suck up to the Eldar,'

'I don't suck up- well not much anyway,'

'Exactly,'

'Well I'm not doing anything until I have my morning coffee,'

I pulled my blanket off and slowly stood up.

"James, Virgil, coffee time,"

One coffee and an hour later and I was standing outside the temporary Imperial Guard base, I was about to rap my finger against the side, when an Imperial Guard stopped me.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you,Sir,"

"Why not?"

The Guardsman visibly winced at this.

"Just listen sir,"

I put my ear against the side and I could hear giggling coming from inside.

"I think I should give them their privacy,"

"Good idea sir,"

Okay, Imperial Guard- check. Who next?

'I would recommend the Orks,'

'What? Why?'

'Because then they're done,'

I put my hand on the handle and braced my self, I pushed the door open just a notch. No screaming resounded from within. I pushed the door open fully and ducked under a tiny bottle that flew in my direction.

"Shush umie, the boys are sleeping," An Ork weirdboy whispered by the side of my head.

'Sleeping Orks I've seen it all now,'

"I thought all you did was fight?"

"Now that's racist umie, they sleeping cause they tired, and cause they found loads of bottles of whine and drinked it all,"

"Whine? Don't you mean wine,"

"Dat's what I said- whine,"

"Never mind, and they drank it all?"

"Yeah they said it was good to, they favourite one was da sheerazz,"

They drank all the australian Shiraz-I was so dead when my parents came back.

"Just don't take stuff without my permission please," I sighed.

"Why,"

"Because otherwise even bigger umies will stomp me and you,"

"So wat,"

"Just- just enjoy your sleep,"

I can think of an excuse for the wine just as long as- BOOM.

I ran into the kitchen to see a smoking crater where my oven used to be and two blackened Tech marines standing at the crater's rim.

'So what song do you want at you funeral?'

'It'll be yours to,'

'Well in that case,'

Two hours and countless Dark Eldar approved songs later:

"And that should be the last of the pieces," I said giving them to the Tau, "I just want an oven, not a bomb or a generator, okay?"

The Tau nodded and started to arrange the pieces into a shape.

I walked up the stairs rubbing my temples and stood outside the upstairs bathroom and was about to push the door open when Yarsa spoke.

'Remember our talk earlier?'

'Please Yarsa, I need a pick me up,'

'Well here's an incentive,'

A burning pain ignited in my crotch area and I fell to my knees, as I dragged myself further from the door the pain lessened.

'Good boy, all I need now is a leash,'

'I'm sure you have plenty of them buried away somewhere,'

'True, true, and don't tempt me,'

I managed to pull myself to my feet and clambered slowly up the stairs. As I reached the top, a Space Marine bike slammed into my shin. I looked up into my room to see Razorbacks, Rhinos and bikes racing around a hastily built track. I looked at the Chapter Master and he just shrugged, I heard a whizzing and a popping noise and felt a weight on my shoulder. I turned my head and saw James and Virgil standing there.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"We are in a truce, so we have decided to all get together and do some games," Virgil said.

"So far only both the Space Marine forces have contributed, but all the forces except the Eldar have come to observe," James said.

"What games exactly do you have in mind?" I inquired.

"We have vehicle races, ground races and wrestling," Virgil said.

"Uh don't you think that it could be difficult for, say the Imperial guard to get involved in games like that?"

"What sort of things do you have in mind?"

"Well what about something like mix-species football,"

"Football? What is that?"

"Uh how do I explain? You have two teams that have to kick around a ball and get it into the opposing teams net which is called a goal,"

"We have a game like that called Emperor Ball. But instead of kicking, you throw a solid steel ball and whoever kills the most Xenos or Heretics gets to carry the specialist weapons into combat," James said with glee.

"And that's similar to the game I just described in what way?"

"It has a ball in it,"

"Tell you what, give me half an hour and I'll put an old match on for you in the living room,"

"We'll be there, and we will spread the word to everyone else," Virgil said.

"What of the Eldar?" James asked.

"Tell them as well, they could use some good, especially after the events of the last few days,"

"And you're not going to ask, even after you spent the evening with the Farseer,"

"Yes, I've come to an agreement with someone about it,"

'Roll over boy, who's a good boy? You are, yes you are, yes you are,'

'Shut up Yarsa,'

"Did something go wrong last night?" Virgil said showing his maturity.

"No nothing happened,"

"You didn't try and kiss her did you? Because if you did you would smother her," James said.

'HAHAHAHAHA, smother her,' Yarsa laughed.

"Yes because if you smothered her that would be bad for everyone, or did you move too fast and scare her off," Virgil said trying to keep a serious tone, "Or maybe it went too well and your trying to think of something to say to her, William and Karha sitting in a tree; K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Virgil's maturity- BOOM.

'HAHAHA sitting in a tree; K-I-S-S-I-N-G,' Yarsa echoed.

"Fine I will tell them,"

'You what?'

'You heard me,'

I ran down the stairs taking two steps at a time, I was just about to open the door when I felt an alien presence in my head.

'We...Speak...to...saviour...imprisoner,'

'Who is this?'

'We...Tyranids,'

'Uh okay, I'll come and see you now, Yarsa, did I just get an invite to meet the Tyranid hive mind?'

'I'm just as shocked as you are,'

'Damn, I'm gonna have to get some bug spray,'

* * *

><p><strong>I was just wondering- cause I just found out- how diffrent the Warhammer Universe would be if the corrupted Primarch hadn't met the Eldar, instead someone like Guilliman or the Empe<strong>**ror had met them instead- Yes I may do this once I'm done with Bitesized, but I was wondering if someone had already atempted it, if they have could anyone send me a link.**

** Next chapter will be up on Saturday.**


	9. Chapter 8

**Sorry I took so long- exam preps, writers block and Mass Effect 3 make for slow updates.**

**Akuma Emperor of War: It is football I'm British see, your football is my rugby -more or less.**

**Elliej939: Yeah Yarsa does, and that football match will have to wait for a chapter or two.**

**Joshabi: Gotta hate those damn bugs with claws. I honestly didn't know that about the Orks, thanks for telling.**

* * *

><p>I slowly nudged open my brother's room door and cautiously stepped in with bug spray and fly swatter in hand. The room was eerily silent and devoid of life.<p>

"Here Tyranid, Tyranid, Tyranid," I said softly.

'Do you really think that will work?'

Just as Yarsa finished a humongous swarm flowed out from every nook and cranny. I sprayed my spray swung my swatter. I don't know how many of them I killed but more Tyranids would just replace them. Gargoyles latched onto my face and gene-stealers were clambering up my trousers. I clawed at my face and sprayed my legs- but it was all in vain- before I knew it I had been forced to the floor by the sheer volume of Tyranids slamming into me.

'I knew this was a trap,' Yarsa said smugly.

'Nice of you to tell me,'

The Tyranids were acting as a living chain- holding me down by sheer mass and nothing else.

Once again I felt the alien presence in my head.

'Why... Save... Us... When... We... Consume?'

'I don't know- but could you let me go please?'

'Answer.'

'Because, I'd never be able to hide the amount of bodies.'

'That... Is... Not... Answer'

'Yarsa, your intervention would be nice about now,'

I felt the Hive Mind being forcefully expelled from my mind.

'I have to admit, that was impressive, blocking out a normal Psyker is one thing- but actually expelling a Hive Mind once it's inside is virtually impossible.'

'That wasn't you? But I didn't do anything.'

'Now that is, uh what would you say? Oh that's it; Kiff we have a conundrum,'

Then I realised that I wasn't being ripped to pieces by Tyranids, I opened my eyes and the Tyranids were just standing completely still.

'Wow, you didn't just push the Hive Mind from your mind, you completely cut the Swarm off as well.' Yarsa admired.

I stood up, shaking off the various different Tyranid forms and slowly backed out of the room.

"Now that was weird," I said to myself.

'You can say that again,'

'Can I please go and see the Eldar now?'

'Can I please go and see the Eldar now- what?'

'Can I please go and see the Eldar now, Ma'am?'

'Only because you asked so nicely,'

I walked across the hall and rapped my knuckles against the door and opened it. Inside I was greeted by the Eldar still constructing but the majority was done. I turned my head to the shelf and Karha was standing at my eye level.

"Hello Mon-Keigh,"

"Even after everything that happened yesterday, you still won't call me by my name," I whispered.

"I'm coming in,"

Before I could react Karha was already forcing her way into my head and the all to familiar white of my soul scape prevailed over my normal senses. As it cleared I saw Yarsa and Karha arguing.

"You could have killed him!" Karha shouted.

"He would have died when she who thirst caught up to me anyway!" Yarsa screeched.

"And who's fault would that have been, you chose to bind to him!"

"You killed me!"

"You would have killed him and me!"

"It's in my nature!"

"Okay what the hell is going on here," I interrupted.

"You slept with her!" Karha shouted.

"Well... Technically it was rape,"

"You're taking her side!" Yarsa shouted.

I stood in between them to stop them from tearing each others throats out.

"You raped him!"

"In my nature!"

"Just like it's in your nature to be a little slut!"

"Come over here and say that!"

I pushed them apart with my hands and kept them both at arms length.

"Mum always liked you better!" Yarsa moaned.

"Don't get mum involved!"

"Wait you two are sisters?" I asked.

"Shut up Mon-keigh!" They both shouted.

"I thought it was all metaphorical," I murmured.

"I still can't believe you raped him, even though you knew we wanted us to spend the day together!"

"Details, details, you got your afternoon didn't you?"

"How could you say that, I'll kill you!" Karha screamed.

My strength gave out and my arms buckled under the sheer rage of the two Eldar women. Karha tackled Yarsa to the ground. There wasn't any grace or agility in the fight however, it was no holds back cat fight. There was nails, teeth and tearing of armour until I got involved.

I imagined water coming down on top of them and it was there. Yarsa was spluttering on the floor and Karha stormed towards me and slapped me very hard in the face.

"That was for enjoying you morning with Yarsa so much," SLAP, "That was for not telling me," SLAP, "That was for being an idiot," SLAP, "And that was because I felt like it."

Rubbing my cheek, I accidentally said the only thing that couldn't defuse the situation.

"You two are sisters?"

SLAP.

"What was that for?"

"You're an idiot, just like every Mon-keigh, using people only for your own advantage. How could you play my feelings like that?" Karha asked with sincere sadness in her voice.

"I didn't play your feelings, I went to you because I promised you an afternoon together. Wether or not Yarsa slept with me, that was after I made that promise to you, I wasn't going to break that promise for anyone or anything," I said softly.

"Do you have any feelings for Yarsa?"

"I'm right here you know," Yarsa called from her puddle.

Karha gave her a death glare.

"I'll give you some privacy then."

Yarsa disappeared to only God knows where and I turned to face Karha again.

"I won't deny the fact that she's good looking, but I don't have feelings for her. Even if I did it would be awkward considering the fact she only exists inside me."

Karha nodded in acknowledgment before eyeing me again.

"What about me?" She asked.

Just then Lothis Irrian decided to enter my head.

"Are you ready for your next training session Mon-keigh?" He said drawing two wraith bone swords. Karha threw me one of my own.

"Come and have a go."

I don't know how long I had been training for but I was slowly getting better than Lothis and he was knocking me down less and less.

Parry then slash. Parry then slash. Then I saw my opening and slammed my shoulder into his chest and sent him reeling. While he stumbled I raised my foot and kicked his chest knocking him to the floor.

I offered him my hand and he reluctantly grabbed it and I pulled him to his feet. He steadied himself and swung his blade at my head. Expecting this, I ducked under it and whacked him on the side of the head with the hilt of my wraith bone sword.

"Fighting dirty will not get you anywhere," I said.

"You think daemons will fight honourably?"

"No, but I thought you would."

Karha walked over to us.

"Lothis, it is obvious that we will not be needing you in these training sessions anymore," She said.

"What!"

"You are not proving a challenge for him anymore, he needs to be constantly challenged to be able to defeat daemons."

"I will not allow this, my honour has been tarnished by allowing a Mon-keigh to repeatedly best me," Lothis growled, "Anyway who will take my place?"

"I will," Karha said.

"You will regret this Farseer!"

"I sincerely doubt that."

Lothis growled once more and left.

"What's his deal?" I asked.

"He thinks that I am unworthy of my position and he has tried courting me several times through our lives."

"Ah the classic; hates you because you rejected him, but why does he hate me?"

"You've bested him in combat several times and what's more of an insult is the fact that you're a Mon-keigh and you can do it. There are other reasons as well but we'll be here all night if I told you."

"Is this the bit where you start to kick my ass?"

She dropped into a combat position and created her own wraith bone sword.

"I'll take that as a yes then."

She held her ground and waited for me to strike the first blow -so I complied. I brought the sword down in a huge arc but she effortlessly knocked it away. I tried to land more blows but she just danced around them -laughing as she did. She lightly struck my back to knock me off balance before bashing my undefended sides. I was knocked to the floor and my weapon skittered away. I rolled to the side to avoid another one of Karha's punishing attacks. I couldn't get to my weapon so I would have to fight unarmed.

I swung my right fist, Karha dodged and struck my back. I swung my left fist, Karha danced around it and tapped my face. Then it hit me, while I was giving it my all just trying to actually land a blow, she was playing with me, slowly wearing me down while she was conserving her strength. I adopted a defensive pose and let her take the offensive for a change. She smirked and feigned right and while I moved to block she struck left. I quickly recovered and raised my palm to deflect her next blow. Her blade dug deep into my hand and blood flooded from the gash, but I had her where I wanted her. I closed my other hand around the blunt side of her weapon, wrestled it out of her grip and threw it to the side. Now on more equal terms I took the offensive again. I swung but she dodged, slapped my temples and punched my chest. Stunned and disorientated Karha struck my neck with her fingers and slammed her elbow into my gut.

I dropped to my knees and Khara's foot connected with my face. As I fell backwards I reached out and grabbed her foot and she fell on top of me.

I was flat on my back and Karha was lying on top. Her head was in front of mine and her lips were mere inches away from mine. I tried to lean forward but I felt something sharp against my chest.

Karha's eyes met mine and a smirk came to her lips.

"I win," She said smugly.

I looked down and I saw she was holding a small dagger to my chest.

She rolled off of me and helped me to my feet.

"I seem to have developed the trend of having my ass handed to me by women," I joked.

"It's a likeable trait."

"Only when you're a girl."

Karha chuckled and looked at the blood dripping from my hand.

"Let me have a look at your hand," She said with genuine concern in her voice.

I raised my hand and she studied it in depth. She thought up a bandage and skilfully applied it to the wound.

"I walked the path of a healer long ago. You don't have to worry much about the wound, you'll have a scar at most," She said holding my hand for longer than she should have needed and her eyes met mine.

"Well training went well," I said looking away to hide my blush.

"You didn't answer my question from earlier, you know the one when we were interrupted by Lothis," Karha said timidly.

I was about to answer her again when Joe Dredd interrupted us.

"Sir, the Techmarines have something to show you."

"Duty calls," I said to Karha before I returned to reality.

I was on the couch and surrounded by all the armies watching football on tv.

'I put it on for them.'

'Thank you Yarsa, are you okay?'

'I'm fine, I'm an Archon it happens to me nearly on a daily basis.'

'Okay, what did they want to show me?'

'Take a look.'

Two techmarines were walking towards me holding a blue tooth set.

"This is for you, we apologise for what happened to your oven," One said.

"It has been set for our Vox frequencies so it will be easier to communicate to us," The other stated.

I picked it up and my ear was bombarded by chatter. I turned down the volume so nothing could be heard from it.

"You can set it to specific channels as well."

"And there's this sir," As the techmarine spoke a large object under a sheet was wheeled into the centre of the room and a full sized football was pushed in front of it. The sheet was pulled back to reveal a laser.

"It's a shrinking device so it can be used to make things you need us to have our sized, observe;"

The shrinking device powered up and blue lights lit up the side. A small ball was starting to form on the end creating a crackling noise. Cindy was shocked by the noise and jumped of the couch, as she ran away she pushed the laser and it pointed at me just before it fired. The blue ball of energy flew towards me and struck me in the gut. Every thing went black.

I could hear mumbling and soft talking around me. I opened my eyes slowly to find I was completely surrounded by the various different races. Two guardsmen helped me two my feet, then it hit me -I was their size!

One thought came to mind and I voiced it.

"Oh bugger."


	10. Chapter 9

**I'm back and with new comedy packed chapter.**

** Elliej939: OW,OW,OW and OW, I'm touched that you think that I'm better writer than you. Drowning on orange juice is something I would like to see.**

**Hung dead screaming: Yup bitesized.**

**VoltRush: I like putting in fan ideas so anyone with a good idea put it in a review and I may put it in the story.**

**Beserker 01: Thanks reading compliments is a great thing for any writer and sorry but there's another cliffhanger on this one.**

* * *

><p>'Oh you are soooooooo screwed,' Yarsa laughed.<br>'Shut up I'm thinking.'

The entire combined forces from the grim dark future had crowded around me with an expression of shock.

'Okay so I'm basically worse than a guardsman here.'  
>'That would be correct.'<br>'Righteo then, I've lost the height and crush-them-if-they-piss-me-off advantage, but I still have my silver tongue.'  
>'Silver tongue, you're having a bloody laugh!'<br>'I need you to be supportive Yarsa.'  
>'Sorry but when you say things like that you set yourself up for bullying so well.'<p>

"Thank the Emperor that actually worked!" A Techmarine shouted.  
>"What do you mean?" I asked.<br>"There was this very bothersome cat that kept attacking us while we worked and we sort of used the laser on it,"  
>"What else?"<br>"It turned inside out... and exploded,"  
>"What?"<br>"It turned inside ou-"  
>"Yeah I heard you the first time,"<br>"Just the fact that it works on organic life is an incredible thing, ooohh I feel like a little girl again,"  
>"Wait, you're a girl?"<p>

'Smooth,'  
>'Shut up Yarsa,'<p>

The crowd was still staring at me but I could hear a thick Russian accent calling through it.

"Let me through," Dmitri called before spotting me, "Ah Will, my good friend how are you?"  
>"So-so," I said.<p>

Dmitri walked over and patted me on the back.

"You're not as tall as I thought you would be," He said, "Now I will take you back to our bastion until you get your bearings, yes?"  
>"Yeah that would be good, I don't do well in crowds,"<br>"I was hoping you would say that, James, Virgil some help would be nice,"

As Dmitri finished a soft popping noise and a whizzing sound was heard and the two Space Marines were standing in front of us in their armoured glory.

"He's not as tall as I thought he'd be," Virgil observed.  
>"Same here," James said.<p>

Virgil started to clear a path to the bastion while James and Dmitri flanked me. I entered the surprisingly spacious bastion and found it was surprisingly close to a modern day barracks –bunk beds and guns with not much else.

Dmitri took something off one of the walls and handed it to me. I looked at the las-pistol and back at Dmitri.

"Karha told me how much of a terrible shot you were, so I am going to teach you how to shoot,"  
>"Karha told you?"<br>"Yes, and I think a gun would be useful, you're surprisingly squishy compared to everyone else so you'll need it when the daemons come-a-knocking,"  
>"Won't I be able to stand on them?"<br>"That's the thing, we don't know if the shrinking is permanent and the techs haven't made an anti-shrinking-ray ray,"  
>"What? I could be stuck like this forever?" I asked.<br>"Look on the bright side, you would be able to spend time with the Farseer, and not just in your head because that is starting to get weird," Virgil said.  
>"Nothing is going on between me and Karha,"<br>"Deny it all you want but you're not fooling anyone."  
>I ignored Virgil's comment and turned to Dmitri.<br>"You were going to teach me how to shoot?"  
>"Come along my young prodigy I will teach you the way of the gun," Dmitri said leading me through a door into a shooting gallery.<p>

Two hours and hundreds of unmentionable curses later; I could actually hit the target.

"Wow Dmitri you're a damn good teacher if you can get me to be able to hit the target," I admired.  
>"Surprisingly that's what Sara said," Dmitri chuckled.<p>

'I like this one,' Yarsa said.  
>'He's taken,'<br>'Do you think that's stopped me before?'

"Oh you dog you," I said aloud.  
>"I can't help it if I'm naturally talented at so many things,"<br>"Watch it mate I think you're fame has gone to your head,"  
>"I can have a Valkyrie ferry you to where ever you want to go,"<br>"Thank you Dmitri," I said walking out the door.  
>"The landing pad is the other way,"<br>"I knew that."

I walked into a Valkyrie's troop compartment and a female voice called out to me.  
>"Where to?"<br>"The Eldar area please,"  
>"Be there momentarily chief."<p>

Being the size of the Eldar put their architecture in a brand new light for me. It was even more beautiful than before.

'Thank you Mon-keigh,'  
>'Who's this?'<br>'I am Harethiel the Howling Banshee Exarch,'  
>'Speaking face to face would be nice Harethiel,'<br>'Look to your left.'

I complied and saw a Harethiel walking towards me.

"You're not as tall as I thought you would be,"  
>"Yeah I've heard that a lot,"<br>"Is Karha able to see me at this time or not?"  
>"She's just over there, though I would wait she's bathing," She said pointing to a small structure behind her, "Now Mon-keigh I've never seen the Farseer so happy before and I've known her for a long time, if you do anything to hurt her I swear that I will hunt you down, tear your heart out and bury the body so far from civilisation it will never be seen again."<br>"Yes Ma'am,"  
>"Now I have a small gift for you on behalf of our people," She said revealing a Wraith bone sword.<br>"Thank you," I said taking it from her and attaching the sheath to my belt.  
>"I assure you, it may be an ornamental blade but it'll still cut through armour and Daemons as well as any wichblade or power sword,"<br>"I don't know what to say,"  
>"Just remember to point it in the right direction,"<br>"Aye aye." I turned and stopped when I heard a familiar voice calling out to me- Lothis Irrian

"So Mon-keigh how does it feel to be stuck at our size,"  
>"Like I can still kick your ass any day Lothis,"<br>"Try me anytime Mon-keigh,"  
>"I'm sick of your bloody attitude Lothis," I said.<br>"Well I'm sick of you Mon-keigh,"  
>"Let's do it now then Lothis," I said reaching for the hilt of my newly acquired blade.<p>

Lothis shrugged and drew a blade of his own. I drew mine and admired its perfect weight and balance; it was like it was made exactly like the one I had been using in the soul scape. We circled each other, blades in hand. We charged at each other and Lothis slashed my torso. I reeled backwards placing my palm other the deepest part of the bloody wound. Lothis charged again and I swung blindly. The crowd around us gasped and I saw that my blade had cut Lothis' sword cleanly in half. Lothis drew a dagger and went for me again. Just before he connected with me an incredible psychic halted him in his path.

I dropped to my knee from blood loss and saw Karha wearing a towel around her naked body.

"What the hell are you two doing,"  
>"Summing stupid," I groaned before hitting the floor and losing consciousness.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Okay there's good news and bad news.<strong>

**Bad news: Warhammer bitesized will be officially finished in five or six chapters**  
><strong>Good News: There will be a Sequal.<strong>

**Also I had an idea, why not do other bitesized stories for other fandoms but I need YOU! That's right YOU! I'm going to set up a forum if I get enough people willing to do the stories, if your intrested say so in a review.**


	11. Chapter 10

**I'm back- sorry about negelcting you guys, but I had a hard time thinking of how to bridge the last and next chapters together.**

**Reviews:  
><strong>

**Josahbi- Actually it's a reference to Galaxy Quest.  
>EllieJ939: Yes I've got to do something stupid.<br>A Drunk Canadian: Don't get the boyz, the sequal will happen.  
>Wpago: Good.<br>HUNG DEAD SCREAMING: Yes I'm planning on at least a trilogy.  
>Notenufdakka: Revenge will be had, also not to give anything away but Parents will be back during the sequal.<br>VoltRush: Please do, the forum will be up- eventually.  
>Lasaka: Thanks- will do with the description honest.<br>Invader Viceroy: Chapter done- Spartan armour maybe.  
><strong>

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><p>Darkness.<p>

'Will, Will rise and shine,' Yarsa mind spoke.

I simply groaned in response.

'Will, Karha's naked.'

I rolled over on to my side; I was on something soft- a bed perhaps?

'Will I'm pregnant with your child.'

I was on my feet in an instant. I was in a fairly basic room but there was obvious Eldar touches with the various patterns on the wall.

"You what!" I screamed.  
>'Just kidding.'<p>

Then I realised that there was someone else in the room with me- Karha. She had her back to me, but was slowly turning around- then I realised she was naked.

'I wasn't kidding about that part though.'

Karha had fully turned around now. She was bearing all but when she saw that I was standing up and not unconscious her expression turned form concern to disgust.

"Mon-keigh!" Karha shrieked as she tried to cover her private areas, "Do you even think of not looking!"

I immediately looked down and felt my cheeks going red. Then I noticed I was wearing something other than my usual attire.

"What am I wearing?" I asked still looking down.  
>"The guard was nice enough to loan some Flak armour for you to wear," Karha said.<br>"But why am I not wearing my clothes?"  
>"They were covered in blood."<br>"Who changed me?"  
>"I did."<br>"Wait you got me fully changed."  
>"Yes."<br>"Even my- you know."  
>"Yes."<br>"So you saw me naked?"  
>"Yes."<br>"But I can't see you naked?"

I looked back up to see that Karha was wearing a loose robe- almost like a dressing gown or a bath robe. She had a 'deep in thought' look on her face as if she was trying to decide what to say.

"No," She answered.  
>'You're not missing much,' Yarsa said, 'Just put slightly shorter legs and slightly larger breasts to my body and you've got it.'<br>'What about you having different eyes and hair?'  
>'That too.'<p>

"So what now?" I asked.  
>"They said about playing a game called 'football'," Karha replied.<br>"Really?" I said, "I honestly didn't think they would."  
>"The guard and the Orks took an instant liking to it," Karha said, "The others joined over time."<br>"Wait- how long have I been out?"  
>"Two, three hours why?"<br>"The way you said that made it seem like days."  
>"Oh sorry for being- what's the term? – too ambiguous."<br>"What do you want to do then Karha?"  
>"I should support my people in the Football match."<br>"I asked what you wanted to do."  
>"I don't know what that question means Mon-keigh."<br>"It means that you can do what you want to do, not what everyone expects you too." I said, "No matter the consequences."  
>"Really?" Karha asked as she covered the distance between us.<br>"Yes," I said looking deep into her eyes, "You need to relax."  
>"In that case," She said, "I'm going to do this."<br>She pressed her lips to mine and pushed her tongue into my mouth. I flowed my hands through her hair and she had her hands were on my waist. The kiss intensified as pure psychic energy flowed from Karha yet a strange feeling was flowing from me as well. Even though it felt strange we did not stop.

* * *

><p>"My lord the pieces are in play."<br>"Good, we may soon begin. Notify our forces."  
>"Yes my lord."<br>"Does the Arachnid remain loyal?"  
>"Yes my lord, however the human will be a problem."<br>"He will be destroyed along with the rest of his pitiful race."  
>"Yes my lord."<br>"This world will belong to us and non shall stand in our way."

* * *

><p><strong>Yes I know it's short but it's just a filler to link the next one.<strong>


	12. Chapter 11

**Hey guys I'm back! Sorry it's been so long but I just haven't been happy with this chapter and it's been completely revised a couple of time.**

**Reviews:  
><strong>

**Invader Viceroy: Yup they're back and kicking ass this chapter  
>TouchOffTheNoodles: Yeah I like writing romance stuff, I'm a big softy really. Also I guess I have your wrath to deal with.<br>Sicarius117: Thank you, thank you and thank you, I like compliments. Seriously though, this isn't my own idea it's been done before.  
>Ahrimin's Ward: Tau are going to be making a big come back.<br>Insouciant Pariah: Thanks alot El.  
>Bronyhood of Steel: A chaplain is going to be introduced next chapter actually- don't worry I will make the forum eventually.<br>**

**Just two side notes:  
>1. Bitesized is going to be getting a bit darker from this chapter on, there will be comedy but not as much.<br>2. Sometimes Yarsa takes control during this chapter but to stop confusion I've simply said that Yarsa has done it.  
>E.g Yarsa killed him with awesomness.<br>**

* * *

><p>The Daemons were closing in on all sides; Farseer Karha and Commissar Dmitri were trying in vain to hold them back. The fragile Eldar were grateful for the Imperial Guard's heavy armour and the guardsmen were equally grateful for the superior firepower.<p>

"Dmitri! Coordinate the Baneblade's targets with the Fire Prism- the Soul Grinders must be felled!" Karha called as she cleaved a daemon in half.

"Yes- but we need some Banshees on the southern flanks to deal with the Bloodletters!" Dmitri replied as he put a bolt round into a Daemon's head.

To put it frankly- everything had gone to Hell an hour ago.

The Daemons were within touching distance- the remaining Eldar and Guardsmen braced themselves for a bloody and brutal close combat battle to the last being standing. A battle that never came, without warning the Daemons had halted their relentless onslaught and stopped completely. A Daemon prince came through the crowd of Warp beasts and stood before the Farseer and Commissar.

It was obviously a Slanneshi prince- not male but not female either, it was pale and had a sickly claw in place of it's right arm and trophies made from the helmets of various comrades and friends of the two leaders adorned it's back. In it's right hand -held a good few feet above the ground by his throat- was a silhouette of a young man they both knew. The Prince threw him before the Farseer and he lay limp.

"Your champion lays beaten!" The Prince called, "Surrender now and death shall come quickly!"

For the first time in in many decades, Karha was truly afraid.

Three hours earlier.

"That was just -wow Karha," I said pulling away.  
>"There was definitely something different about that," Karha said lightly gasping for air.<br>"Stuff was floating- literally!" I said.

'Way to act cool and sophisticated Honey,' Yarsa added.  
>'Honey- really?' I replied.<br>'What it's better than Dumbass,'  
>'I suppose.'<p>

"If you wouldn't mind- I need some time to think some things through," Karha said placing a light kiss on my cheek.

'Hahahaha! She's only just kissed you and now she's dumping you!'  
>'Shuddup Yarsa.'<p>

"Yeah sure okay," I said a little uneasily.  
>"I'll meet you at the second football game later," Karha said.<br>"There's more than one?" I groaned.  
>"Unfortunately," Karha sighed, "But you may be a bit preoccupied with something other than the game."<br>"You do mean kissing right?"

'Smooth as sandpaper, Hun,'  
>'Hey I panicked- cut me some slack.'<p>

"Of course- I see my dear sister is having an effect on you," Karha said.

'Hey I'm right here!'

"That's one way of putting it," I replied.  
>"Well put it like this- she so much as makes a slight advance on you and I'll kill you both slowly and painfully," Karha said coolly, "Understood?"<p>

'What was that about her dumping me?'  
>'Half of me wants to kiss you to see if she's telling the truth,' Yarsa said, 'And the other half agrees with the first.'<p>

"Perfectly," I replied, "See you later."

I walked –with a slight spring in my step- to the still waiting Valkyrie.

'Wait Hun, something's wrong,' Yarsa said.  
>'What?'<br>'That asshole- Lothis hasn't come after you,'  
>'Well I guess that today is just one small miracle after another huh?'<p>

The Valkyrie's ramp descended when I realised I was missing the blade I had been given earlier. I'd have to look for it later; perhaps Karha would bring it with her.

"Where to?" The pilot called.  
>"Back to base," I replied, "I want to see Dmitri."<p>

The Valkyrie lifted up and we were off.

It took about ten minutes but we arrived safely at the empty bastion.

"I take it everyone's at the football match?" I asked.  
>"Yup," was the reply.<p>

'Well we should catch the end then?' Yarsa asked.  
>'Sounds like an idea.'<p>

I caught the last half an hour of the Imperial guard versus Space Marine football match which the Guardsmen somehow managed to win.

It took another few minutes but I managed to catch Dmitri as he left the small pitch that had been set up.

"Hey!" I called.  
>"Ah Will my good friend- we thought you had died," Dmitri joked, "Almost started another war!"<br>"I didn't know you cared,"  
>"So where have you been?"<br>"With Karha," I said grinning.  
>"All this time- wow you move fast."<br>"No I got injured by that Warp spider and she was looking after me,"  
>"So that's all?" Dmitri asked as he raised an eyebrow.<br>"Well we kissed," I said.  
>"Oh well done my friend, get Virgil and James- this is a time for celebration!"<br>"It's not that big,"  
>"Liar- inside you are singing like a songbird!" Dmitri said, "And don't forget it is the first cross species relationship!"<p>

'I take it Dark Eldar don't count?'  
>'No Yarsa what Dark Eldar do doesn't count.'<p>

"Well I suppose," I said.  
>"Come, I have been saving a drink for a special occasion- it can knock a space wolf on his ass!" Dmitri exclaimed with a childish glee.<br>"I won't be drinking any then,"  
>"Well more for me!"<p>

One and a half hours earlier.

"And that's when I said- 'Mate I only need a wiz'!" Dmitri shouted and the four of us burst out laughing.

The two Veteran Space Marines fell over and rolled on the floor.

"Damn glad I didn't have any of that drink," I said watching the two defenders of the Imperium.  
>"Bah- light weights," Dmitri said as he downed another shot of alcohol.<br>"Oh crap!" I said, "The football match."  
>"You have ten minutes- go on!"<br>I rushed out of the bastion and ran towards the football pitch when I heard a familiar voice.

"Hello Mon-keigh."

'And there's the asshole!'

"What now Lothis?" I asked and turned.

Before me stood the smirking Warp Spider Exarch, he glanced at the blade at his side and his smirk only grew.

"Oh nothing Mon-Keigh," Lothis said with a grin, "You forgot this."  
>He held out my sword- which I snatched from him.<br>"Thanks Lothis," I said slowly.  
>"Enjoy your pathetic game Mon-Keigh."<p>

'He seems overly happy today,' Yarsa said.  
>'Yes- too happy,' I replied.<p>

I decided to shrug the slightly pleasant meeting with Lothis and entered the football stadium.

I looked around for Karha in the entrance room as the crowds had already gone in and the large spacious hall was fairly empty.

'How the hell did they manage to build something like this?' I asked Yarsa.  
>'Say what you will about the Space Marines, Imperial Guard and the Tau, but they're very resourceful.'<p>

After a few minutes of waiting I saw Karha come in wearing her standard Farseer gear and carrying a very familiar blade.

"Mon-Keigh, you forgot thi-," She started before spotting the sword I had strapped to my side, "Where did you get that?"  
>"Uh Lothis gave it to me," I said unsheathing the false blade.<br>"But this is your sword," Karha said unsheathing my real sword.

Just then the false blade began crackling with a dark energy, without a thought I hurled the blade at a nearby wall. The dark energy quickly formed into a ball with forks of lightning, knowing what was going to happen next- I tackled Karha to the floor.

Then all Hell broke loose.

The blast was incredibly strong- tearing the lower part of the entrance hall, half of the pitch and the majority of my leg armour apart.

Yet somehow it was cold, not a normal cold but something beyond imagination. It was a cold that clawed at you and seeped through any gap it could find.

Yet there was still something much, much worse than the awesome destructive power of the blast- a contingent of Daemons of all sizes and types, ranging from the standard Bloodletters and Horrors to the Hydras and various other Daemons.

And at the head of them was a hulking Daemon prince, gripping the hilt of the False Blade which soon warped into something much more Daemon like.

The Space Marines were the first to react, they grabbed their Boltguns and chainswords and let loose.

Countless Daemons were felled as more forces joined the fight, ranging from the Imperial Guard, Tau, Eldar and even a few Orks. Yet it still wasn't enough.

Guardsman were being cut through easily, Eldar were being cleaved in two, Orks thrown aside, Space Marine decapitated. Unmentionable things were being done to the Tau by the Daemonettes but the worst was the sight of Grey Knights being torn to bloody chunks by the ferocious might of the combined daemons.

I got off of Karha and surveyed the surrounding area- to be honest it made me want to vomit. A recently deceased Assault Marine's bolt pistol was at my feet, picking it up I pulled Karha to her feet.

As a duo of Bloodletters noticed us a booming voice cut through the chaos.

"THE STADIUM IS LOST- FALL BACK!"

As the voice concluded the order, humongous booming sounds collided with the stadium and swathes of Daemons were obliterated under heavy shelling.

'That would be the Imperial guard,' Yarsa stated.

The two Bloodletters decided to charge at this point and I readied myself.

I ducked under a Hellblade before stabbing at the source, yet the Daemon dodged. I parried another strike as the other Bloodletter struck deep into my shoulder. One of the two Bloodletters knocked me to the floor and raised it's sword for a finishing blow when it was struck from behind by a blast of psychic energy.

'If you want to live, let me have control,' Yarsa commanded.

I was too beaten and exhausted from the confrontation with the two daemons to argue and let Yarsa have control of my body.

As Yarsa took control I was still granted the ability to see out of my eyes, and the sight was impressive.

Yarsa jumped up onto her feet and toyed with the Daemon- bobbing and weaving as it tried in vain to land a solid strike. As it swung down in a huge arc Yarsa saw her chance, she sidestepped before neatly cleaving it's head from it's shoulder.

"That was... impressive," Karha said to Me/Yarsa.  
>I opened my mouth to reply when I realised I couldn't.<br>"I aim to please," Yarsa said using my mouth.  
>"You've definitely improved,"<br>"Well I had some help from your incredibly charming and witty sister."

I face palmed at this.

"Really?" Karha asked.  
>"Really,"<br>"Well then Yarsa I think he can have his body back now,"  
>"What gave me away?" Yarsa grinned.<br>"Call it intuition," Karha said, "Now give him control."  
>Yarsa did nothing except perform a small shudder.<br>"Okay Karha I'm back," Yarsa said.  
>"Really Mon-Keigh?" Karha quizzed.<br>"Seriously!? You still call me that after everything that's happened?"  
>With this Karha kissed Yarsa passionately- something that Yarsa seemed eager to repay.<p>

'You enjoyed that, didn't you?' I muttered.  
>'Very much,' Yarsa replied.<br>'But she's your sister!'  
>'And I've done a lot more than kiss her.'<br>I decided to leave it there before Yarsa started to give me details.

Karha looked disgusted as she stared at me/Yarsa.

"YARSA!" Karha screamed.  
>"The one and only," Yarsa said with her signature grin.<br>"Your my sister!"  
>"Oh please we've gone much further before, like that day in the forest when we-" Yarsa started.<br>"Do not remind me," Karha said in a threatening tone.  
>"Well you loved it when I ran my tongue down your-"<br>Karha reeled back her hand to slap Yarsa when Yarsa decided to give me back control.  
>Karha's hand hit hard.<p>

"Son of a bitch!"  
>"Oh bugger she put you back didn't she?"<br>"Yup," I said rubbing my cheek.  
>"C'mon you baby, I've got an idea to end this once and for all."<p>

Karha took my hand and we were off.

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><p><strong>Long chapter done, hopefully the next update will be soon.<strong>


	13. Chapter 12

**So here I am again guys!**

**Reviews:**

**Freelancer Mississippi: New chapter up like you asked. Well I can't post what happened in the woods without changing the rating to 'M' but put it like this- Yarsa will screw anything with a pulse, and some things that don't.**

**Sicarius 117: Thanks for the support and compliment!**

**I'd also like to thank Killjoe for his tremendous help with this chapter- he write the Chaplain and Tau fight scenes. **

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><p><strong>Will<strong>

"Come on Mon-Keigh, not much further now," Karha said as she led us around the bulk of the much as I felt cowardly I knew that I didn't have a hope against the Daemons.A single Daemonette peeled away from the main Daemon force and charged us. Karha didn't even slow down as she drew her singing spearing and decapitated the Daemon in one swift movement.

Karha carried on leading when Yarsa decided to speak through me.

"Are we there yet?" She asked.

"Her, not me," I said quickly as I regained control.

"Almost, Mon-Keigh," Karha said before halting in her path, "Oh dear."

"What-" I said before seeing what she saw, "Oh crap- wait is that a Chaplain?"

**Chaplain Desturis**

Chaplain Desturis fought alongside his battle brothers, his black armor somehow shining in this light, with his cudgel in hand, bolter pistol in the other, he was truly happy, delivering the Emperor's justice to these disgusting abominations. To think that only a few hours ago he was watching Football, a strange game he had never heard of, but now, he was doing what he had been made for, what he had been truly trained for, the Emperor's standard to his back, his squad circling around him as they picked off the Daemons that swarmed to them. They had been a sort of beacon in the light during this fight, and already several Space Marines came towards them, this was their only chance to regroup and he knew that if he could get at least a company of these stragglers, they're very well might be a chance t-****

"Get out of the way, Bloodcrusher!" A battle brother screamed loudly, and he had only a small chance to look to his left when he found himself flying back and skidding against the black stained carpet. My chest. It was the only thing he could think of as he looked down, his chest plate heavily dented, yet with the constant pain throbbing in his chest, he stood, his brothers were being slaughtered by the beast and its three Bloodletting subjects. On the ground before him lay his cudgel, its barbed iron faintly glowed the color of gold, his bolt pistol lay beside it, the cold iron lying on a large stain of blood.****

Quickly, and swiftly he picked these two up, they felt the same as they always did, well balanced and masterfully crafted by the Magos of Mars. He muttered a faint prayer to the Emperor, running quickly to the battle that was in progress, only five Sentinels were holding back the four Daemons, and they were failing quickly. "Take heart brothers! For even in this strange place the Emperor is still in our hearts!" He shouted and charged the first Bloodletter to come in view, he clipped the bolt pistol to his waist as he sprinted, shoulder slamming the unholy thing.****

The beast flew back several feet, its red skinned covered in hundreds of scars, the metallic horns of the beast inscribed by some tainted writing that burned his eyes to look at, the sword it held was a flaming crimson, blessed by the entities of the foul place known as the Warp. "Come to me Daemon, and know the last thing you see will be me." It spat out several undecipherable words then charged him. As it raised its sword to slash at him, he slammed the cudgel into the beast's chest, the barbs that had been in placed on the weapon tearing into the Bloodletter's red chest, tearing out chunks of flesh as he knocked him down.

His swung the cudgel downward, attempting a finishing blow on the Daemon, but it was quick, he had underestimated just how long this beast of war had been fighting, parrying his blow with its own sword and kicked him back, rolling onto its feet again it slashed once more, cutting into his blessed armor and tearing into his already scarred chest. But before he could swing once more, Desturis dropped the cudgel and grabbed the arm which held the sword, snapping it like a twig. The beast gave a sheer cry of pain as it held the arm which was now bent in a shape that it had never been meant for, The Chaplain however grabbed the cudgel, swinging it upwards, Desturis heard the satisfying crunch as it's jaw broke and before he could recover, The Chaplain through the cudgel into the air partially, jumping up slightly to grab it and bringing it down on the Daemon's skull, completely crushing it, the brain matter and blood splattered against his armor, bathing it in black filth.****

Once again, The Emperor's prayer exited his mouth, thanking him for letting him live to do his will, but as Desturis did this, he noticed that only two of his battle brothers remain in the fight against the daemonic spawns, and that one of the other Bloodletters were encroaching on the Chapter's standard, attempting to defile its sacred and blessed cloth, this was beyond offense, this filled him with uncontrollable rage, a scream came from the mouth and the Daemon turned its head, not sure what it was seeing as the black armored man sprinted towards him, but as the figured slowed down, gathering its force, the Daemon became wide eyed, seeing the silver plated skull of a Chaplain just before Desturis's fist landed between its eyes. Making it stumble back, some of its face bones broken , his hand reached for the standard with his offhand, picking it up from the carpet and stabbing the pointed end into the heart of the Bloodletter.

He heard the unholy shout of yet another daemon, he crouched low, narrowly avoiding the warp infused sword and swinging the standard as he turned, knocking the giant Bloodletter to the ground then raising it up then bringing the standard's pointed end down on its stomach. Black blood seeped from the wound; it was struggling to grab the standard's point out of its belly, begging for more life, shouting in pain as he slowly stopped struggling, too much blood loss making it descent slowly and painfully into death.

An unholy roar came from behind him, and he slowly turned his head, the Bloodcrusher ruffed its hoofs against the carpet, the beast that had made a fool of him by knocking him down. Its teeth were razor sharp, its horns pointed him as it lowered its head, its red skin similar to the Bloodletter that mounted it. The Daemon rider licked its lips, the teeth equally as sharp as the thing it rode.

"Come at me Daemon, come at me!" The tamer of the beast hit the flat side of its burning blade against the Bloodcrusher's thigh, making it charge toward him. Desturis planted the standard into the ground, waiting until the last moment to kneel to the left side of the beast, striking the cudgel onto its legs, breaking them almost instantly. It fell on its side roaring in pain as it crushed the Bloodletter that had ridden it. He stood once more, unclipping the bolter that had been on his side, aiming the iron between its eyes as it struggled to get up.

"Know that it is an Angel of Death that kills you now, beast." The bullet found its mark between it eyes, silencing the giant warp beast.

Finally, the beasts had been silenced and the two remaining battle brothers came towards him, their giant frame reassuring him. Hope surged through his body; maybe they could turn the day around and banish these beasts back to the warp. But as he looked around, seeing how many Daemons there were, how fierce they had fought, the hope sank like a boat to the bottom of the sea, yet he pushed on, charging towards more of the Daemons. It was his duty after all, and if he fell, he would die fighting in the name of the Emperor.

**Will**

Karha fired off a bolt of eldritch lightning that disintegrated the nearest Daemon where it stood as I shot bolt round after bolt round with accuracy that surprised me.

'Oh don't humour yourself Hun, I'm adjusting before you fire,' Yarsa said.

'But Dmitri trained m-'

'Which I also helped with, you'd be lucky to hit the planet you're standing on with your aim,' Yarsa laughed, "Hell- I've seen Orks that are more accurate than you are.'

'Ow Yarsa that really hurt.'

Before I even realised it the last of the Daemons that were in front of us lay slain and the hulking form of a Chaplain and two Space Marines were heading towards us.

"I am Chaplain Desturis," Desturis said, "The situation is dire, these foul Daemons were not part of the original assault."

"So you're saying that there are more Daemons?" I asked in disbelief.

"Yes, there have been several more incursions since the original,"

"Several? Where else?" Karha butted in.

"I have reason to believe the Tau have taken a large assault-"

Before Desturis could finish, a bolt round grazed his shoulder armour.

"Damned Blasphemers!" Desturis shouted, "Warp take those traitors. Chapter Lord, I shall hold them here, no traitor shall pass while I still draw breath.

""Chapter Lord- may I say something?" One of the two Space Marines asked.

"Go ahead,"

"Excuse my disrespect, buy you're not as tall as I thought you would be," The marine stated.

I mentally face palmed at this.

"This just further proves brother that the greatest gifts from the Emperor can come in the smallest packages," Desturis said, "Now go, go while you still can."

Wordlessly Karha started to pull me again.

**Shas'O Firestorm**

The Fire Warriors held their ground against the infinite tide of Daemons that swarmed through the partially cracked closet door, the Daemon's numbers were reduced to practically nothing, and it was the ultimate strategic advantage. Their plasma rifles shot easier than those of the Imperial Guard, more destructive power behind them. And their Sky Rays shot large bolts of blue heated plasma, literally destroying the carpet but as well annihilating the Daemons that would dare get in the way of the Greater Good.

Then, all hell broke loose. The Daemons stopped coming, and for a moment the Shas'o Firestorm thought the battle may have finally been won, that the giant human had vanquished the daemons back to whence they came. But he was wrong, this, this right now was the quite before the storm, the silence before the slaughter. And the storm started by far off thuds, they mistook them for the sounds of battle, they lowered their weapons, unsure of what to do.

"Fire team two! Take the hammer head and open the door!" The Shas'o shouted and the fire team charged with guarding the light Tau tank advanced toward the large wooden door. Blood covered the bottom of it thanks to the battles that had been fought. The carpet was practically a mass burial site, Daemons of all kinds littered it, the majority dead but those who were earned a plasma heated shot between the eyes.

The Fire team reached the door, the thudding now getting closer and closer, like a tribal war drum beating to the call of war, it was steady, never faltering for a single second, the thudding always persistent in its mission to frighten the tau. And it did, the majority of them raised their rifles up to the door. "Fire team two, pull back!" Firestorm shouted this out through their radio frequency, hoping it would reach them in time and they could pull back.

But it was already too late; a deafening laugh full of heartiness filled the air, making some Tau shiver and quake in their boots. The laugh had an eerie echo to it, a laugh a dying man might give out, their throat swollen and plagued by some foul disease.

The door was pushed open, not a slow creak but a giant shove, and before them made some of the Tau want to puke. The being was decaying, its body bloated to the size of a basketball, its skin a pale yellow, its teeth bound to hold scraps of flesh from those it had devoured. Its stomach was threatening to burst open, The Unclean one chuckled, shooting out from its bloated belly three barbed and bloodied intestines, circling around the Fire team and pulling it into its stomach, their screams were horrific as they were eaten alive.

Before The Unclean stood hundreds of small Nurglings, all grotesque as their master, all servants of the Dark God Nurgle, all must be purged for the Greater Good to continue. "Fire Teams focus fire on the Nurglings! Hammerheads and Sky rays focus fire on the Plague bearers! Night blades, attack the Unclean One. For the Greater Good!" He barked these commands over their radio frequency, but the Daemons swarmed towards them. The Fire Warriors immediately opened fire on them, killing the first few waves of them, and their tanks obliterated some of the Plague bearers, but this horde of plague Daemons was the Largest he had seen in all his days of fighting the spawns of Chaos.

The stench was unbearable; it smelled as if a thousand bodies were rotting beneath a hot sun. He saw many of the Tau rip off their helmets to barf but then were overwhelmed and brought down by the small Nurglings, where they stabbed, and even ate their victims. A truly horrid death for anything, to be put into the belly of a decaying, not dead yet not alive thing.

But no matter how many they fell, two more took its place, the Kroot would need to be sent in and quickly if the battle was to be won, otherwise they might well be overwhelmed by the mass amount of encroaching Daemons "Kroot, deploy against the Daemons, for the Greater Good!" He shouted once more, and the strange reptilian race jumped from behind the Tau lines, shouting out strange war cries that must've have been normal to their home worlds. They were a vicious mercenary race, their scales thick, acting as a sort of armour, their faces were gaunt, their skin the colour of slate.

They engaged the enemy quickly, not giving them any mercy as they clashed their spears into the ranks of the enemy, using their dark powder to fire the gun which was built into their war spears. For a moment hope surged through the ranks of the Tau, fueling their fight for the Greater Good, but the chuckling of the Unclean One pierced through their hope like an arrow from a bow would pierce through leather armour; it sent an icy feeling through their veins as the Greater Daemon spoke loud and clear.

"You think little reptilian men scare me? You have mistaken yourself Tau!" He chuckled once more, and even though the laugh sounded jolly enough, it made some of them quake in their combat boots.

From the mouth of the Daemon came forth a giant swarm of buzzing flies, the noise was loud enough to block out their radio units. The flies spewed forth, the Unclean One's mouth stayed open, letting them travel forth. Shas'o Firestorm just stood there stunned, not realising the flies' target.

The insects were sent to the oncoming Kroot horde, swarms hovered over each one before converging on them, the flies ate the very flesh of them, leaving only screaming unfleshed humanoids. It sickened him to see such warriors resulted to nothing. After the Tau saw this, their ranks broke almost immediately, the squads breaking off from the front lines and running to the back of the closet where their base was held.

He could not blame them, and to avoid the slaughter, he gave the order. "All teams fall back! Fall back!" And with the command issued, they broke off into a sprint, sure to be slaughtered if they did not.

"All teams fall back to the base and prepare for counter measures. Air caste; provide air support so we may retreat quickly!" The Air Caste quickly came into view, dropping a pay load upon the enemy, buying the Fire Warriors time to evacuate back to the base.

"All teams, report to your designated evacuation points!" He shouted, running as fast he could, the Tau were being picked off by the Plague bearers, one by one as they ran past the infinite amount of shoes that filled the closet. He felt pity for those who tripped over the carpet and were taken by the Daemons.

The base came into view, where already the Air Caste was evacuating the Fire teams outside the closet, though with the infinite tide of Daemons that were closing behind them, nothing could be done to save them in time unless some of the Battle suits held them off.

"I will not lie to you my brothers, we have lost the day against the Daemons and soon, the slaughter will come before we can get everyone out. So all of you who wish to be true to the Greater Good, help me push back the horde of daemons so our brothers may escape." Some teams agreed to help; others proceeded to the evacuation point, cowards.

The line was made behind several shoes that had been piled and made into a line, many fire teams formed up behind it, the Sky rays pounded the tide of daemons and even some of the retreating Tau, obliterating everything that was put into their lines of fire. He jumped, activating the jump back he had been equipped with and landing behind the line, spraying the tide of enemies with his plasma cannon, knocking several down, but of those who fell, half came back up, charging once more. The thudding had returned as the Unclean One marched forward, his silhouette coming into view as the Tau fired off round after round from the approaching Daemons as their ships became airborne and left the closet.

**Will**

It had taken us a long time -too long- to reach the destination Karha had wanted us to go to. It seemed like an oasis amongst the carnage that had been unleashed, yet there was a strange air to this place, almost as if it was pouring strength and resolve into my very being.

"Karha what is this place?" I asked.

"The shrine to Khaine," She replied, "And home of his Avatar."

**Shas'O Firestorm**

In his subconscious he knew that he would not be leaving this battle alive, and that meant that he would take as many of the foul Daemons as he could. And as the Unclean One came into view, he engaged, shooting off the plasma cannon he had used for the majority of his life. It was a large Gatling type weapon, spewing forth round after round of plasma ammunition.

He spread his feet apart, activating his plasma pack to send him soaring through the air, the air level of the evacuating ships. His feet landed against the Unclean One's chest, knocking it back several inches. Its rotting hand rose, slamming it against where his was. He sprayed more of the plasma rounds onto its chest before flying off once more, circling it and shooting more of the rounds at it. Below, the Fire Warriors fought a valiant fight against the Daemons, but they were being slaughtered quickly, the majority of the evacuation crafts had almost departed, this gave him back the morale he so desperately needed. He launched himself into the back of the Daemon's head, knocking it forward and there for making it stomp upon its Daemons.

But he had mistaken the beast's agility, and this did in fact cost him his life. The Unclean One's hand raked back, grabbing him in its horrid and tight grasp, raising him to it head, where the stench was even more putrid, its smile jolly but grotesque as well. "Down you go!" It shouted and raised its jaws up, delivering him unto its mouth.

Before he was swallowed, he unpinned each of his plasma grenades, so as he was swallowed into the belly of the beast, the very instruments of its destruction were swallowed as well. As Firestorm was pushed into the stomach acids of the Greater Daemon, his skin corroding thanks to the juices that digested him, he did not scream. Nor did he shout. He had the closure to know that he had saved countless lives that day.

The Daemon laughed heartily, pushing onto towards the diminished ranks of the Tau, but he stopped, his stomach roared in pain and the first of the explosions set off, blowing him inside out, his remains being exploded onto the ranks of the Tau, as well as his own, destroying everything that was alive thanks to the rotting flesh that burned each and every living thing. The Tau defenders had been slaughtered as well as their commander. But as the ships of the Tau that had survived reached ground floor, they held a moment of silence, thanking those that had saved them. They had died continuing the Greater Good, and they would not die in vain.

**Will**

"The Avatar of Khaine?" I asked, "Why wasn't it awakened yet?"

"There has been a minor problem," Karha replied, "A problem where I need your help."

"Go on then."

Karha led us into the strangely empty shrine and towards a large stone throne towards the back that had a huge blade resting against it.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"That's what I need your help for," Karha said, "Take the blade and I'll draw him out."

"Okay..." I said as I slowly approached the blade that was easily the size of me- perhaps even bigger.

That's when I recognised it- The Wailing Doom.I stopped and it all made sense to me.

"Karha, are you trying to make me your new Avatar?" I asked as I slowly turned to the Farseer.

"Mon-Keigh, why woul-" Karha started.

"I'm not finished," I said harshly, "Because it would make sense you know. You've been training me in martial combat for one, and to think of it having the only one who is keeping the peace as your pawn would be an advantage over all the others."

"Will-"

"Still not finished," I interrupted, "Also if there's no one keeping the peace then there is war again, and if you have an Avatar then you have another advantage over the other races. So Karha, look me on the eyes and tell me everything that I said wasn't true."

Karha looked at me briefly before staring downwards.

"I can't."

I bit my lower lip and I felt sick to my core.

"Was there anything there Karha- or was it all an act?"

Karha just continued staring at the floor as my anger threatened to consume me.

"Well now that that's settled, ready your forces because we have a Daemon prince to kill," I growled, "And we'll do it with what we've got or die trying."

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><p><strong>So another chapter under my belt, this officially marks the approaching end of Bitesized- but don't worry it's not the end I'm planning on a trilogy- but more about that later.<strong>


	14. Chapter 13

**Hi guys, long time no see.**

**I won't answer reviews now, it's been so long people probably don't care anymore.**

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><p>I stormed out the shrine, feeling sick to my core.<br>I couldn't believe how Khara had used me, I couldn't look at the Eldar in fear if what I would do- I'd either break down into tears or lash out in rage.  
>"Are you oka-" Yarsa started.<br>"Yes," I snapped quickly.  
>It was a sorry sight outside, undoubtedly Chaos was running rampant, corpses were played with, defiled and discarded. Burnt out husks of once proud vehicles dotted the area and many structures had been brutally torn down.<br>However the most utterly demoralising scene was the combined Imperium and Xeno forces fleeing, a Greater Daemon of Khorne- the Bloodthirster- chasing them down.  
>Humorously, only two thoughts came to mind: How on Earth would I explain this? And how the Hell would I clean it up!?<br>"Are you sure, it's not just something yo-"  
>"Yes Yarsa. I. Am. Fine."<br>Four Stormravens, three squads of four Valkyries and maybe four Tau Aircraft descended and the fleeing troops embarked. As the small fleet of vehicles ascended a single Stormraven sighted me.  
>The VTOL craft moved nimbly through the air, jinking enemy fire and evading Helldrakes, that was when the Bloodthirster beat it's leathery wings and took chase, through a feat of pure Daemonic power- the greater Daemon caught up to the speeding transport.<br>The Daemon gripped the side of the transport, causing it to spin madly- fortunately for the crew, a burst from the Hurricane Bolter tore through the hand the Daemon was using to hold on. It's gripped failed it, and the Bloodthirster smashed into the ground as the Stormraven corrected itself.  
>The vehicle got to the shrine quickly and touched down, it dropped it's ramp to reveal an almost full bay of Sentinels and Grey Knights.<br>Karha decided to grace us with her presence, I didn't even look at her as she passed and entered the bay.  
>The ramp and Stormraven began to rise as I walked up it, though just as safety was within my grasp, something searingly hot wrapped around my leg- the Bloodthirster's whip.<br>I was forced backward and safety was ripped from my grasp- the Stormraven not risking another pass.  
>I was alone.<br>"Hon, move!" Yarsa commanded, taking control of my legs and launching me out of the way of what would have been a cleaving blow from the Bloodthirster's tremendous axe.  
>I ran and fired behind me as the Bloodthirster gave chase, the ground shook under the Daemon's titanic might.<br>The whip lashed out again and it caught my leg, I frantically tugged at the whip as the Bloodthirster raised it's axe to bring down a killing blow.  
>Yarsa kicked in, she drew my Eldar sword and brought it up to intercept the axe. The two weapons connected in a blast of astonishing light.<br>I was suprised that my arms didn't shatter under the amazing force (Bloodthirsters are strengtu seven after all), but I was even more shocked when the Bloodthirster recoiled from the force.  
>However the whip was still firnly lashed around my ankle and all it took was simple tug for the Bloodthrister to bring me back into it's clutches. As I was forced to my doom, it raised it's axe arm and backhanded me.<br>Blood ran thick from my nose and lips as the Bloodthirster switched the lash for the crushing grip of the hand.  
>The Daemon lifted me by my ankle to infront of it's horned head. I was dangling upside down as it blew a reeking breath into my face.<br>Once again Yarsa took charge.  
>As the Bloodthirster brought me closer still, she stabbed out with the sword. It pushed deep into the face of the Greater Daemon and it screeched in pain.<br>I was dropped and something just clicked.  
>The next part wasn't Yarsa, it was all me and instinct.<br>I hit the ground and rolled off, I came up onto my feet and stabbed the blade into one leg and then brought it out and then into the other leg.  
>The Daemon came down onto it's knees and swung it's axe around. I stepped back and brought my sword down- hard.<br>The sword pumched into the Daemon's wrist and carried on- severing the hand and blade.  
>I reached down and picked the huge axe up, it physically burned my skin as I hefted it onto my shoulder.<br>I swung the axe around and it slammed into the Bloodthirster's chest with enough force to fully knock it down. I heaved the blade out and then slammed it down onto the Daemon's skull.  
>It exploded in a shower of gore.<br>"Wow, that's a lot of pent up agression," Yarsa joked.  
>I was about to reply with a smartmouth comment when something came down hard on the back of my head.<br>I hit the floor and passed out.

* * *

><p>When I came round I was on a battlefield, thrown before the combined forces. I was just about to clamber to my feet when something pressed down on my back- The Daemon Prince's foot.<br>That's when I heard the order cried from Russian lips.  
>"FIRE!"<br>The Earth itself shook as the artillery batteries, Baneblades, Hammerheads and Fire Prisms unloaded at the Prince. A railgun slug smashed into it's face and it stumbled backward, I used this opportunity to scramble forward as the rounds tore into it.  
>Once the dust had settled, the Daemon lay still and dead.<br>But the sword was glowing now and a second warprift was torn open. This time however a Keeper of Secrets, the Greater Daemon of Slannesh stood there.  
>The combined forces saw the greater Daemon and decided they weren't going to take their chances. The army turned and ran, I decided to join them.<br>It mumbled an incantation as everyone fled from it, but I had a strange urge.  
>I had the urge to sing...<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Okay so the next few chapters are going to be sing-song ones, so I'd like to make a disclaimer in adavnce.<strong>

**I do not own or claim to own Evanesence, Tenacious D, Kansas or any other bands/songs I use.**


	15. Chapter 14

**Hi Guys I'm BACK! Not going to answer reviews here, however I have answered them on YouTube, search for a Channel Called Independent Gamer- it'll be the one with a Black Templar for an avatar.**

**Also I don't claim any ownership to Tenacious D or Tribute by the same band.  
>I do recommend listening to it though while you read.<strong>

* * *

><p>A pair of wounded Grey Knights sat in the infirmary, though they insisted on remaining in the fight, their Apothecary had denied it. Now instead of being surrounded by Daemons trying to kill them, they were surrounded by Guardsmen begging to be told stories.<br>And when they were hit by the wave of song, a tale they did tell.

"This is the greatest and best song in the world. . . tribute," The First -Kyle- sung.

"Long time ago me and my brother Kyle here,...  
>we was hitchhikin' down a long and lonesome road.<br>All of a sudden, there shined a shiny daemon... in the middle... of the road," Kyle's Brother sung.  
>The Guardsmen were alread entranced at this point, and they were staring- their violet eyes begging for more.<p>

"And he said:  
>Play the best song in the world, or I'll eat your souls!" Kyle sung.<p>

"Well me and Kyle,... we looked at each other,  
>and we each said..." Kyle's Brother trailled off.<p>

Then they both sung in unison:  
>"Okay."<p>

The Guardsmen were in a dead silence now as they waited for the next part to spill from Kyle's mouth.

"And we played the first thing that came to our heads,  
>Just so happened to be,<br>The Best Song in the World,  
>it was The Best Song in the World."<p>

Kyle's brother took off his helmet to show his

battle scarred face.

"Look into my eyes and it's easy to see  
>One and one make two,<br>two and one make three,  
>It was destiny. "<p>

The Guardsmen nearly exploded at this point, but held their excitment just long enough to hear the next two verses.

"Once every hundred-thousand years or so,  
>When the sun doth shine and the moon doth glow<br>and the grass doth grow oooh!" Kyle's brother sung.

"Needless to say,  
>the beast was stunned.<br>Whip-crack went his whippet tail,  
>And the beast was done.<br>He asked us:  
>BE you angels?<br>And we said,  
>Nay. We are but men<br>Rock!" Kyle sung out.

Now the Guardsmen exploded into rock, playing airguitars, high fiving and dancing as they sung a little.  
>"Ahhh, ahhh, ahhh-ah-ah-ah-ah-ahn,<br>Ohhh, whoah, ah-whoah-oh!"

Now all three were singing in a heart warming display of demigod and man rocking together.  
>"This is not The Greatest Song in the World, No<br>This is just a tribute.  
>Couldn't remember The Greatest Song in the World, No.<br>No!  
>This is a tribute, oh,<br>To The Greatest Song in the World,  
>All right!<br>It was The Greatest Song in the World,  
>All right!<br>And it was the best mother fuckin' song,  
>The Greatest Song in the world!"<p>

Once again though the collective voices of the Guardsmen took over:

"Allllllright!  
>'Ti Tuga digga tu Gi Friba fligugibu Uh Fligugigbu Uh Di Ei Friba Du Gi Fligu fligugigugi Flilibili Ah<br>Fligu wene mamamana Sacrebleu!"

The Guardsmen now went silent again as Kyle sung the last few words.  
>"And the peculiar thing is this my friends:<br>the song we sang on that fateful night it didn't actually sound  
>anything like this song!"<p>

Kyle's brother and the Guardsmen then finally rounded off the song:

"This is just a tribute!  
>You gotta believe it!<br>And I wish you were there!  
>Just a matter of opinion.<br>Ah, fuck!  
>Good God-Emperor lovin' ,<br>So surprised to find you can't stop me,now.  
>I'm on fire-<br>O hallelujah I'm found! Rich motherfucker compadre  
>All right! All right!"<p>

The Apothecary watching this amazing display raised an eyeybrow, shook his head and then left to deal with the people who actually needed help- a Chaplain's arm had been severed in a battle only moments ago and it had to be decided if the arm was to be reattached or a cybernetic one put in it's place.


	16. Chapter 15

**Another Chapter on the same day- what heresy is this!? This is my way of apologising for three months without one.**

**I do not claim any ownership to Dream Evil or The Chosen Ones by said band.  
>Once again I recommend listening to the song while reading.<strong>

* * *

><p>Chaplain Desturis was amongst his brothers at the base of the stairs leading to the last stronghold of the non-chaotic forces. In short this was the last line of defence.<br>Desturis was standing on the corpse of a mighty Daemon in the form of a heretical creature called a 'dragon'.  
>He scoffed as he saw the huge army of Daemons and Heretics tearing their way towards them- the Chaplain knew this was a battle they could not win, but they could blunt the tip of the spear and buy the others time.<br>He rose his Crozium Arcanum high and ran -along with his brothers- forward brothers. As his heart filled with valour, Desturis felt the urge to sing.

"We are the chosen ones, we sacrifice our blood  
>We kill for honor<br>We are the holy ones our armor stained with blood  
>We killed the dragon<br>In glory we return, our destination's end  
>We slayed the dragon!<br>No more living in fear, it's time to raise our king.  
>We made it happen, we're the chosen ones!"<p>

As the two lines clashed, blood -daemonic, corrupted and righteous- ran thick.  
>Desturis' heart was lifted as he heard his brothers sing in response.<p>

"We are the chosen ones, we sacrifice our blood  
>We kill for honor<br>We are the holy ones our armor stained with blood  
>We killed the dragon<br>We're the chosen ones!"

Desturis brought his Crozium down hard on a Bloodletter's skull, causing it to explode before swinging it around into the gut of another Daemon- a plaguebarer- and then twisted the power maul, causong pustule ridden blood to fly out and stain the pure white of Desturis' skull helm.  
>Then as Desturis was about to execute the lesser Daemon, a bolt of warp lightning struck his shoulder pad.<br>Desturis turned to see a chaotic sorcerer- a corrupted Librarian, the Chaplain gripped his Rosarius and charged him- once again bellowing a song of war.

"Riding through thunder and

lighting once again  
>We slayed the beast we brought an end<br>Now we have left the kingdom of the damned  
>Heroes of the day, legends forever!"<p>

Desturis shoulder barged the sorcerer and narrowly ducked under his force sword as his Brothers sung out again.

"We are the chosen ones, we sacrifice our blood  
>We kill for honor<br>We are the holy ones our armor stained with blood  
>We killed the dragon<br>We're the chosen ones!"

The sorcerer managed a lucky strike on Desturis, shredding through his holy armour and cutting deep into his flesh. However before his arm could be completely removed, Desturis smashed his Crozium into the helmet of his foe, blood ran from the helmet.  
>Then Desturis connected his bad shoulder with the torso of the Sorcerer and knocked him clean off of his feet.<br>As the Chaplain reduced the head of the sorcerer to mush, he sung out again.

"It seems to me like a journey without end  
>So many years, too many battles<br>We've finally arrived, now we're standing at the gates  
>Heroes of the day, legends forever!"<p>

His Battle Brothers were envigoured by his song-chant and as they battle with the Daemons, one which they were somehow winning, the Space Marines bellow their response.

"In glory we return, our destination's end  
>We slayed the dragon<br>No more living in fear it's time to raise our king  
>We made it happen we're the chosen ones!"<p>

This time Desturis was met by two heretical champions, one with an axe and the other a power maul. The Chaplain swung around, denting the helmet of the Chaos Marine carrying the maul, however the other moved behind Desturis and severed his arm with a blow from the axe.  
>Desturis was filled with holy vigour and fury, so instead of falling to the ground he dropped the maul and picked up his severed arm. The adamantium clad limb proved to be a far more effective in the hand of the enraged Chaplain- something the two champions found out as they were pumled to death by it. Now both Desturis and the Space Marines sung out in a deafening shout.<p>

"We are the chosen ones, we sacrifice our blood  
>We kill for honor<br>We are the holy ones our armor stained with blood  
>We killed the dragon<br>In glory we return, our destination's end  
>We slayed the dragon<br>No more living in fear it's time to raise our king  
>We made it happen we're the chosen ones!"<p>

This was when Desturis saw them- he spotted them through a gap in the combating forces- a pair of Daemon Princes. Desturis hefted his severed arm and -along with a small amount of marines who had also spotted the Daemons- hurtled towards them, bellowing their song as the did so.

"We are the chosen ones, we sacrifice our blood  
>We kill for honor<br>We are the holy ones our armor stained with blood  
>We killed the dragon!"<p> 


End file.
